7 replies to this topic

[someguyfrombham]

This is a question.  A question for the ages.  And for ages after those as well.  But all is not well.

The question.  In a game of "Who, indeed, posseses the skylines that are most intimidating, the skylines that remind you the most of the AWESOME AND UNQUENCHABLE power of these burgeoning metropolises, the skylines that impress, express, and cause you to make a mess, (which would be best)" who would be the winner.  Who would take the place of second, third, fourth, and fitfth?  Who straggles behind the rest of the pack like a wounded puppy running after a group of 2 year old cheetahs?  

Metropolises of greater than a million members of their masses, but less than one-and-a-half million inhabitants.

In the battle of

Charlotte, queen of the Carolinas and killer of sea whales,
Nashville, home of brain dead country music singers and Vanderbilt superiority complexes,
Birmingham,  home of a big naked statue and some abandoned-ass factories,
Memphis, the Cairo of the south,
New Orleans, the London of the Northeast,
Raleigh, the Moscow of the Pacific Northwest,
Richmond, a city that used to be way more important than it is now,
Louisville, the Montreal of Northern Mexico,

and

Jackonville, the Ville in which resides in Jackson,

Which is on top?  Which is on bottom?  Which is right in the DAMN middle?  Which are big and which are little?  Which are first base and which play second fiddle?  Which are dense and which are brittle?

[SBCmetroguy]

What?

[someguyfrombham]

SBCmetroguy, on Feb 3 2007, 12:38 AM, said:

What?

The question, my good captain, is "How would you rate the imprints that each of these mega-metropolises place upon the backdrop of the sky with their tall and imposing buildings of economic power, prestige, purposeful preposterousness, and pitiful parochialist philandery."

For instance, my ratings would be as follows:

1st Place: New Orleans.  The prestigious girth and metropolitanery of this particular picture is unsurpassed in the southeast, and the city appears to truly be a city, unlike most cities, which appear to truly be banannas or orangutans if you look at them closely enough.

2nd Place: Charlotte.  The narrow mountain of glass and shininess.  It looks almost exactly like that city from the Wizard of Oz, I swear.  Or like a giraffe, more precisely.  Or a giraffe mixed with an SUV.

3rd Place:  N-n-n-nashvilllle -- Despite the redneck stereotypery of this world-class megapolis, its impressive skyline is accentuated by an evil looking building that most likely serves as the global headquarters for the maniacal megacorporation that runs the U.S. government in secrecy.  Plus it looks big from the north.  If you look closely at this city you can see an outline of George Washington in the sillhouette.

4th Place: Richmond-- Boxy and stunted, yet wide and glorious like the days of our youth.  Remember them well.

5th Place: Louisville -- Small but dignified, with one tall building that probably looks cooler than the building you live in, whether that be a house, shack, mobile home, or 200 story Communist apartment complex.  

6th Place: Birmingham -- The world of the old mixes in the world of the new in a skyline that is almost as stunted-looking as Richmond's, and less expansive, but at least it's not fricken ugly like the Ville of the Jacksons.  Plus a naked statue perches over it like a watchman of eternal peace and prosperity.  

7th Place: Memphis-- Old and moldy.  The Pompeii of skylines.  There is a beauty to it, however.

8th Place: Jacksonville-- Looks like it was constructed entirely by Communist Infiltrators back in the 1950s.  The People's Skyline.

9th Place: Raleigh -- Looks like a chimpanzee, pretty much.  That is the impression that everyone gets when they drive by that place -- they're like, "Man, I'm totally sure that that city is actually a chimpanzee from looking at how those buildings look... I can see the eyes in the windows and the bottom floors look like monkey feet.  Quick Martha, throw a bananna out the window to see if the Raleigh city catches it!"  

10th Place: Chicago.  The world's tiniest city with pretty much no buildings to speak of whatsoever.  The last time I went there the downtown area was basically a trailer park with a few furniture outlets.  Things just haven't been the same since Montgomery, Alabama took the crown as capital of the midwest.

11th Place: My uncle Jim's horse ranch, which would be ugly if it actually existed,

and

12th Place: The state of Kansas

and

13th Place: The state of Nebraska

and

14th Place: Mars

Edited by someguyfrombham, 03 February 2007 - 02:36 AM.

[SimCity]

What kind of thread is this?

[suburban george3]

What r u smokin?  It must be some good stuff!  

[watnow1425]

Interesting. What is the point again?

[someguyfrombham]

watnow1425, on Feb 3 2007, 02:57 PM, said:

Interesting. What is the point again?

The point, which is sharper than the sword of a renaissance Frenchman, is to rank the skylinery of these various places of residence, in which people reside, in accordance with the example provided above.

Copyright Bill Bentley Engineering, 1986, Indianapolis, Indiana, All Rights Reserved.  Any attempts to copy shall be viewed as felony in a court of law and punishable by flogging.

[monsoon]

I recommend that you read our rules.  If you post more nonsense such as this on this forum, you will be banned.