20 replies to this topic

[voyager12]

After four years here I would have to say this is definitely a couples kind of place. Maybe it's because of Charlotte's reputation as a mecca for young families, people are laser focused on the picket fence.
It's almost a crime to be single here, I feel some days. How does dating and meeting people here compare to other cities you have lived in or visited? And where did you meet your SO in Charlotte?

[dbull75]

I agree that couples are very prominent here. That being said, I think this area offers a lot for singles too. I'm not a huge weekend bar hopper anymore, so I sought other ways to meet people when  I moved here a few years ago. I've found Charlotte to be a fairly easy place to meet people. Through things like the co-ed sports leagues here (it's how I met my SO), Panther tailgates and groups like CHOA I feel like there are definitely opps to meet people. I came from Richmond, VA and found it VERY difficult to meet new people there. The only way I did there was "through a friend of a friend" kind of a thing. For singles, I think it's hard to top a place like Tampa. A very engaging city that definitely puts an emphasis on that lifestyle...

[Mobuchu]

I think it really depends on the type of person you are and where you hang out.  I'd have a tough time meeting someone in any town, so I almost always meet a "friend of a friend" as well.  I dont even take my own advice but try meetup.com and the Go social club.  There are hundreds of groups between the 2 of these that meet weekly/monthly.  It's not really for singles, but just meeting people with similar interests can never hurt your chances.  Friends of mine do this and have a great time.

[voyager12]

I have heard good things about Tampa too. My sister visited for a possible job there and was quite impressed by the Ybor City area. And I have heard of people meeting here through the various social groups you mentioned. Then there are the random chance meetings, here are som gems friends have told me..." our eyes locked across the iceberg lettuce at HT and the rest is history" or " I was running in Freedom Park, we brushed by each other and it was instant love". AWWW

Like most smaller cities, and regardless of what you are into, the dating pool is relatively small. So unless the other person arrived in town yesterday you have probably dated this person's ex and vice versa and in so doing have already slept with everyone in town   Coming from Charleston it was more incestous being a smaller city but not by much.

Edited by voyager12, 26 January 2009 - 07:36 AM.

[suburban george3]

I have to agree, even though I'm from Winston-Salem I frequent the Queen City often, it seems that most folks in Charlotte are coupled or have a family.  This even seems to be true for the gay community.

Raleigh seems to have a better singles scene than Charlotte..  not by much though.

[voyager12]

It's definitely a mixed bag. For those of us that are not bar hoppers the options can seem limited. My best friend from college met her now husband on Match.com. I have heard many stories about successful relationships that were started by random meetings but that does not work for everyone. Some of us just seem attract odd folks....a guy that followed me home from the Dowd and expected me to jump into his car   Or an overly friendly neighbor that I had just met walked into my apt without knocking to have "fun". Come to think of it, random meetings do happen to me but they are all scary.

Someone tell a great Charlotte relationship story now. Please.

[caterpillar2]

voyager12, on Jan 26 2009, 02:43 PM, said:

It's definitely a mixed bag. For those of us that are not bar hoppers the options can seem limited. My best friend from college met her now husband on Match.com. I have heard many stories about successful relationships that were started by random meetings but that does not work for everyone. Some of us just seem attract odd folks....a guy that followed me home from the Dowd and expected me to jump into his car Or an overly friendly neighbor that I had just met walked into my apt without knocking to have "fun". Come to think of it, random meetings do happen to me but they are all scary.

Someone tell a great Charlotte relationship story now. Please.

Maybe it is because I am possibly older, but, how the hell is Charlotte not a good place for singles.  Christ, there are thousands of single people walking the streets every evening. Like any place else, the bar scene is the most popular place to meet girls/guys, but there are an abundance of other places as well.  Unless you are John Merrick, the Englishman, and can't meet others, it is your own fault. I grew up in London where it is probably harder to meet girls than in Charlotte. Girls there like to be formally introduced by a friend or  meet guys at work and get to know them. This is not London, generally speaking, half of the singles in Charlotte are ready to go to bed with you the same evening. A formal introduction here is: "Nice tits baby, wanna go to bed?"  Yea, it is a family city like most other places, but Charlotte uptown is Party Central. Sometimes weirdos can be very interesting friends. I speak from experience. But, you might want to keep mase on hand. Good luck and keep up the faith and you will eventually meet that person where you least expect.  I suggest hanging out at grocery stores, gyms, or libraries. It is really O.K. to meet someone at a bar. Some people there are people that are just there people looking and hoping to meet the right person. I met all three of my wives in bars. I am still happily married to the third one. The first one lives in London and is a lovely person. I have to be honest and admit that I was a bit drunk when I married my second wife. I figured that if it didn't work out and we didn't have any children, I would just get a divorce.  Have a very lovely evening.

[nonillogical]

yeah uptown is single-central, but unfortunately the bars and clubs mostly attract your gym-going alphas and their vapid spray-tanned prey. i'm generalizing here of course, but i do live in the middle of that environment and go out pretty often, it just strikes me as overly competitive and mostly full of the people i'm not interested in anyway. dive bars and coffee shops are a better bet.

i need to hang out in plaza-midwood more though, meet some of those girls

Edited by nonillogical, 26 January 2009 - 06:23 PM.

[QueenCityLegend]

nonillogical, on Jan 26 2009, 07:22 PM, said:

yeah uptown is single-central, but unfortunately the bars and clubs mostly attract your gym-going alphas and their vapid spray-tanned prey. i'm generalizing here of course, but i do live in the middle of that environment and go out pretty often, it just strikes me as overly competitive and mostly full of the people i'm not interested in anyway. dive bars and coffee shops are a better bet.

i need to hang out in plaza-midwood more though, meet some of those girls

I agree 100%. As someone who basks in the wonderful Nightlife Charlotte has to offer, I'm come to realize that it is NOT the place to find my ideal other half. Especially when you're looking for somebody who is a non-drinking/non-smoking/non-druggie, mature yet attractive women who is intelligent(can spell), has her life in order, supports Ron Paul, and doesn't believe in the sillyness of religion(no offense to anybody, just my view).

[norm21499]

voyager12, on Jan 26 2009, 04:43 PM, said:

It's definitely a mixed bag. For those of us that are not bar hoppers the options can seem limited. My best friend from college met her now husband on Match.com. I have heard many stories about successful relationships that were started by random meetings but that does not work for everyone. Some of us just seem attract odd folks....a guy that followed me home from the Dowd and expected me to jump into his car   Or an overly friendly neighbor that I had just met walked into my apt without knocking to have "fun". Come to think of it, random meetings do happen to me but they are all scary.

Someone tell a great Charlotte relationship story now. Please.

Wow Voyager, sounds like you get a lot more action than I do LOL! That sounds scary though.....  It is tough to try to find a gay man to be in a relationship with in this city. Hell I been single for 5 years now!

Edited by norm21499, 27 January 2009 - 02:05 AM.

[voyager12]

It seems like Yahoo or MSN have weekly polls on the best and worst cities for dating. We never seem to rank very high on the former. Of course these are meaningless and silly polls but we seem to be beaten by the Triangle more often than not.

I suppose the combination of large research universities and the brainpower of RTP brings a more diverse scene there for young professionals. We are not as diversified here. But I have had people tell me that The Triangle is horrible place to meet people and Charlotte is better and vice versa. It's so individual.

[Charlotte_native]

voyager12, on Jan 26 2009, 03:43 PM, said:

Someone tell a great Charlotte relationship story now. Please.

I met my better half 6 years ago at Freedom Park.  We were both there with groups of friends (one of those perfect Spring days that is the ideal temperature - the ones we only have for about 2 weeks between Winter and Summer!).  Our two groups had a couple people who knew each other so there was some overlap.  After a brief introduction that day we happened upon each other about 2 weeks later at Tonic.  We started talking, decided to ditch our friends and left for Thomas Street Tavern.  The next day I was going to visit my Dad in Durham, took him with me, and we've not been apart for more than 2 days since.  Actually for the first month we annoyed our friends by announcing each day that it was our "2nd day anniversary" and "3rd day anniversary" and so on.  

During the big protests during the 2004 election when the right wing a**holes were using gay marriage to rile up voters we happened to be in New York mid-summer.  We were walking through Central Park and walked up on a ceremony "marrying" gay couples.  It was multi-denominational, a Priest, Rabbi, Preacher, etc, and surrounded by angry protesters.  We got married and can't wait until the day that North Carolina recognizes what all our friends, family, and co-workers already do.

When that happens we'll get married again, here, in Freedom Park where we met.

There, my syrupy story!

[voyager12]

Thank You! That was a very nice (true) story  

[caterpillar2]

QueenCityLegend, on Jan 26 2009, 11:17 PM, said:

I agree 100%. As someone who basks in the wonderful Nightlife Charlotte has to offer, I'm come to realize that it is NOT the place to find my ideal other half. Especially when you're looking for somebody who is a non-drinking/non-smoking/non-druggie, mature yet attractive women who is intelligent(can spell), has her life in order, supports Ron Paul, and doesn't believe in the sillyness of religion(no offense to anybody, just my view).

Wow! That leaves blow up rubber dolls.

[nyxmike]

QueenCityLegend, on Jan 27 2009, 12:17 AM, said:

I agree 100%. As someone who basks in the wonderful Nightlife Charlotte has to offer, I'm come to realize that it is NOT the place to find my ideal other half. Especially when you're looking for somebody who is a non-drinking/non-smoking/non-druggie, mature yet attractive women who is intelligent(can spell), has her life in order, supports Ron Paul, and doesn't believe in the sillyness of religion(no offense to anybody, just my view).

I think no matter where you go, you're going to have a hard time finding someone like that. Just my opinion...

[dbull75]

nyxmike, on Jan 27 2009, 03:56 PM, said:

I think no matter where you go, you're going to have a hard time finding someone like that. Just my opinion...

I second that... No matter where you live, you're more than likely NOT going to find your better half at a bar on a Friday night or during happy hours. I quit that route years ago. I actually met my fiance through a co-ed sports league. Like me, she was over the bar scene as well... I definitely find other avenues like that much better for finding SOs and friends than nights out on the town. Don't get me wrong, we all enjoy going to a game, watching cover bands at Amos', etc... it just doesn't drive our lives. Well, that's my 2 cents

[QueenCityLegend]

dbull75, on Jan 27 2009, 04:23 PM, said:

I second that... No matter where you live, you're more than likely NOT going to find your better half at a bar on a Friday night or during happy hours. I quit that route years ago. I actually met my fiance through a co-ed sports league. Like me, she was over the bar scene as well... I definitely find other avenues like that much better for finding SOs and friends than nights out on the town. Don't get me wrong, we all enjoy going to a game, watching cover bands at Amos', etc... it just doesn't drive our lives. Well, that's my 2 cents

Many of my friends have said the same thing. I am trying to expand outside of my nightlife social circle and start meeting people with other interests.

However, I just can't stop going out. I love music and I love the nightlife. I feel at home when I'm out at night. Also take in to the fact, part of my job is taking photos of people at the bars and clubs having fun, Secondly, I want to become a DJ, so I'll more so studying the nightlife and different aspects of playing in fun of a live crowd.

[dbull75]

QueenCityLegend, on Jan 27 2009, 05:58 PM, said:

However, I just can't stop going out. I love music and I love the nightlife. I feel at home when I'm out at night. Also take in to the fact, part of my job is taking photos of people at the bars and clubs having fun, Secondly, I want to become a DJ, so I'll more so studying the nightlife and different aspects of playing in fun of a live crowd.

I hear ya. Certainly nothing wrong with going out. I did more than my fair share in my hey day. I'll be honest, I wish some of things that exist today existed 10 years ago when I had to be out all the time

[Charlotte_native]

dbull75, on Jan 27 2009, 07:00 PM, said:

I hear ya. Certainly nothing wrong with going out. I did more than my fair share in my hey day. I'll be honest, I wish some of things that exist today existed 10 years ago when I had to be out all the time

There is a difference, too, in where you go out.  Go to the big hoppin' meat market party club, don't be surprised if your soulmate isn't there.  Have a handful of local hangouts that are more social and less of pick-up clubs, likely to find a different type of person.

[tozmervo]

dbull75, on 26 January 2009 - 07:06 AM, said:

Through things like the co-ed sports leagues here (it's how I met my SO), Panther tailgates and groups like CHOA I feel like there are definitely opps to meet people.

I've been trying to find out a little more info on CHOA. Can anyone recommend it? Seems like a good group in theory, just having a hard time judging how active/effective it is online.