Tyrone Wiggum

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About Tyrone Wiggum

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  1. Tyrone Wiggum

    The State of Higher Education in Charlotte

    There's a lot to unpack here but this take is just dead wrong.
  2. Tyrone Wiggum

    The State of Higher Education in Charlotte

    UNC/CHS would have been orders of magnitude better, only certain people decided having a dick measuring contest made more sense than, ya know, having the chance to build one of the largest integrated healthcare systems (atrium is already big, but this would have been a game changer) in the country AND a de novo med school that would have been top 25 in under a decade. BG is still a world class teaching hospital and its practitioners are incredibly gifted, but walking out of residency staring down $300k in student loan debt is a motherfudgeer no matter how many zeroes are at the end of the rainbow. UNC is the best deal on earth and it’s a shame that the measuring sticks impeded improving the state’s public health (also, to bury the lede, I’m not sure it would have made it past antitrust, but we deserved the chance to find out).
  3. Tyrone Wiggum

    Charlotte area population statistics

    West to East on 16 coming in is jarring, even and up to getting onto 74; ain’t a damn thing for miles. There may be something to extending the urban boundaries, but Charlotte has a ton of land that’s underdeveloped, undeveloped, or underutilized. Which is why Raleigh deserves all the money and Sarah Palin is automatically mayor of Charlotte
  4. Tyrone Wiggum

    BB&T-SunTrust - New Charlotte Headquarters

    You sound salty. Maybe even a little pissed. Perhaps a walk outside would be cathartic. Smell the air. Seriously, try me tho
  5. Tyrone Wiggum

    Charlotte Metro Tower | 40 Story Duke Energy Tower

    @ricky_davis_fan_21 will it be visible from BAC stadium?
  6. Tyrone Wiggum

    Charlotte Metro Tower | 40 Story Duke Energy Tower

    I would post "why can't we have both girl," but that's a celebration meme; LU1 and DEC whatever this is are both different flavors of hot garbage.
  7. Tyrone Wiggum

    Belk Place: Carolina Theater and Hotel Intercontinental

    Drums or flats or both? Hot, sweet, or hot and sweet? Ranch or Blue Cheese or both? Carrots or Celery or both? So many important questions!
  8. Tyrone Wiggum

    Legacy Union (former Charlotte Observer redevelopment)

    Bana? Like this:
  9. Tyrone Wiggum

    Belk Place: Carolina Theater and Hotel Intercontinental

    Cool Story Bro: I was a high school basketball stud, and as a Charlotte area product, I was invited to Carolina Basketball Camp between my sophomore and junior year of high school. That was the first summer MJ was playing baseball with the Barons, and even though the story was that MJ almost never attended camp, he actually happened to make it back for the UNC alumni game during the Southern League All Star Weekend. We're of course going ape crap because, ya know MJ, and though he was clearly rusty he still put on a hell of a show. At any rate, there were a few other recruits with me (I guess they scheduled us all to be there that week because MJ), and after the alumni game Coach Smith asked myself and the other two recruits there to stick around for a little three on three action (after the game everybody else made the trek from the Dean Dome back up to Granville, which was and is a hike). Ed guarded Jeff McInnis, Jermaine was on Eric Montross, and I got stuck guarding MJ. So lucky. At any rate, in a make-it take-it game to 11 we were actually tied at 10 with the ball. I made a double V cut using Jermaine as what might be generally described as a fluid screen, got a few steps behind MJ and went up for the dunk. He still had incredible closing speed and went up to challenge, only fatigue and rust and god knows what else meant that I had the advantage; I dunked the ball and smashed his ring finger against the rim. MJ being MJ, he was, of course, furious. We won! We beat MJ! I DUNKED ON MJ! I'm getting a scholly offer for sure! Unfortunately for me, MJ was piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssed. He orders everybody off the court but me and challenges me to a game of 1 on 1. I go first, which is a pretty short possession because he steals the ball from me in roughly three seconds and goes on an insane scoring spree. He literally doesn't miss a single shot on his way to being up 10-0, and at 7-0 he switches lefty and starts doing almost trick shots from deep to rub it in my face. Anyway, it's game point, and he is disgusted with me. He pushes the ball into my chest and says "wouldn't want you to tell mommy I was mean to her little baby" in a sing-songy four year old's voice, meaning I have at least one last chance to score. This time, I not nearly as careless, and I'm able to cross him over for what I think is another dunk. Only he's playing possum: MJ does this weird spin move and pivots back to the basket, goes up as high as a I do, and pins my hand and the ball against the glass. I can't physically let go as 90% of my arm above my elbow is above the rim and I fall awkwardly. Well, not just awkwardly. I land in a way that makes the Gordon Heyward injury look like a sprain; my tibia was poking out of my skin. Coaches Gut, Smith, and Ford are horrified (I was in shock but I remember Coach Ford running for a phone to call a doctor). MJ he just laughs in disgust, gives Coach Smith the death stare, and walks off the court without a single word. Ed is crying and Jermaine and Eric pick me up and start rushing me towards the ambulance exit. I spent most my junior year in PT, and though I played as a senior, I was a step slower and significantly less springy, and though I still got offers for low D-1 ball, I instead matriculated to Princeton on a need-based scholarship. Many years passed. About five years ago I was in Charlotte at a Susan Komen muckity muck for corporate Masters of the Universe, physicians, celebrity donors, and other self-important types, giving a key note speech at Myers Park Country Club. MJ was in attendance as one of the sponsors and as someone who gave a metric crap ton of money to the cause, and it was truly - and I mean this sincerely - truly touch ingto hear him speak about how breast cancer had affected women in his life and how much it meant to him; let's put it this way he got emotional enough that he broke the tension with a Crying Jordan reference. After all the speechifying, he approached me and told me he remembered me from that day in the Dean Dome. We spent a good fifteen minutes talking about life - mostly my life, as he peppered me with questions - and my involvement with Komen following the death of my wife from breast cancer, which at that time was only 15 months prior. At the end of our conversation he invited me to come to his box and watch the game as his guest. Duh, of course I'm doing that. I show up and it's a little awkward for me because he's my only connection to the box and I'm there explaining to everybody what I do and how we re-connected. At any rate, I'm shaking hands till the anthem starts and then the starting lineups, then shaking more hands. I'm still hob-knobbing when MJ rolls in a few minutes after the first TV timeout. We chat for about 30 seconds when he says, "hey, you hungry? Let's get some food." I open the first tin and it's nothing but chicken legs. Only, EVERY SINGLE ONE has been sawed in half. I open the next tin. Same thing. I look up and over at MJ and he is laughing his ass off. I knew he was legendary for holding grudges. But this level of pettiness? Maybe he just has a different sense of humor. Also, I'm his guest in a luxury box eating free food and drinking free beer so I'll get over it, right? Then, I have the bright idea to laugh it off when I say "very funny. Is there any white meat?" to which he responds, hand to god "I knew you were coming so I had all the breasts removed." He then leans close to me, takes a swig of his beer in my face, and wanders off. Boys and girls, that is the competitor Michael Jordan is. You didn't get a tip? The man rubbed my wife's death in my face because I dunked on him 18 years prior. /s
  10. Tyrone Wiggum

    Charlotte Metro Tower | 40 Story Duke Energy Tower

    At this point my expectation is The Shart, so I'll be pleasantly surprised if it's anything else.
  11. Tyrone Wiggum

    BB&T-SunTrust - New Charlotte Headquarters

    So you're saying they built what is arguably the ugliest skyscraper in NC on purpose? Yeah, this is one that makes me nervous. If Suntrust were the top dog we'd have pretty good odds of getting something at least above average, but given that KK is a clone of JA, expectation is:
  12. Tyrone Wiggum

    BB&T-SunTrust - New Charlotte Headquarters

    So, five of the ugliest towers in the Southeast. What could possibly go wrong with a new HQ?