Jump to content

Is Charlotte Gay Friendly?


t.j.2125

Recommended Posts


  • Replies 97
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Since we are on the discussion of violence, I have a question that brings us back on topic. Does anyone know how common violence against gays are in Charlotte?

Much of the discussion here has centered around whether gay people are subject to rudeness from other people, particularly religious conservatives. I don't watch local news enough to know much about the violent crimes in Charlotte.

It is one thing for people to be friendly or not, but violence is a whole other bag.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to get so far off topic, Smelly.

I think Charlotte is probably as gay-friendly as all the other cities in the Carolinas (except Asheville and Carrboro, which are liberal meccas surrounded by North Carolina). I think the City of Columbia offers domestic partner benefits, which may put it a step above Charlotte.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is it just certain businesses that have domestic partner benefits? I know my job does and I think it great.

Dubone, your question is interesting. I suspect that a lot of the incidences of violence against gay people may go unreported here in Charlotte. Particularly if you're taking about circumstances where people haven't come out yet, or don't want to put a spotlight on themselves.

If (as others have noted in this thread) people aren't encouraged to be physically demonstrative or outwardly expressive of their sexuality (gay or straight) then how are gay people differentiated from the straight to be harassed or attacked? Does the culture of conformity here play a role in rewarding gay people who aren't obvious about it (for lack of a better way of saying it) with a reprieve from harassment? I think voyager12 hinted at nooks that are great places for gays in what he/she sees as a conservative city. Voyager12, if you could expand on that it would be great. Like do you mean in those areas, gay people feel comfortable walking hand in hand, etc? While its a strong statement to put up a flag on your house in your subdivision, I'd think its another to walk into a Lowes outside of those nooks holding hands with your partner

Also, while I know that many transgendered, crossdressers, or flamboyant people are not gay (before anyone chooses to preach to me about that) but how do those kinds of people fair in this city? I haven't really seen those kinds of people here

I didn't know about Asheville being so liberal. I'm going to refer it to my cousin who wants to move south but doesn't want to live in ATL.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As a straight male who has hung out with many guy friends here in Charlotte and never had anyone question my sexuality, I'm a bit amused that when I visited New York with a guy friend, we were insulted and spit at by some drunk man in SoHo who was using every derogatory name for a gay person that you can think of.....not saying that Charlotte is more accepting than New York, but rather it's possible to be harrassed anywhere....I think in general, Charlotteans are too polite to say something openly even if they feel a certain way.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have held hands with my BF in Dilworth where I live and Plaza Midwood etc etc. We have kissed in public and never been harassed. Clearly Charlotte is not a gay mecca but its also not viciously homophobic in my opinion. Outside of the city neighborhoods I would not feel comfortable being openly affectionate with my partner. The Charlotte region has a long way to go regarding homosexual tolerance overall. I do think the area is moving in the right direction. However, we will never be as liberal as the Triangle because while UNCC is a fine school it does not have the rankings or intellectual heft of Duke and UNC and will never draw the highly enlightened faculty that make the Triangle so progressive. Also Charlotte will never be able to compete with the RTP in drawing multi nationals that generally are gay friendly because it makes business sense. The Charlotte powers that be are too obsessed with NASCAR and the low wage jobs it will bring to actually think rationally and compete for IT business and all the benefits it brings Sigh. I am surprised you have never heard of Asheville being so progressive. Its a liberal and gay haven that has unfortunately been "discovered" by the national media and will be ruined by overdevelopment and chain stores in five years. Its already happening... get up there now to visit!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As a straight male who has hung out with many guy friends here in Charlotte and never had anyone question my sexuality, I'm a bit amused that when I visited New York with a guy friend, we were insulted and spit at by some drunk man in SoHo who was using every derogatory name for a gay person that you can think of.....not saying that Charlotte is more accepting than New York, but rather it's possible to be harrassed anywhere....I think in general, Charlotteans are too polite to say something openly even if they feel a certain way.....

I was walking around New York alone one day when somebody dropped an F-bomb (of the homophobic variety) on me. He wasn't drunk though. Just an ass. I haven't had that happen in Charlotte.

I guess the obvious conclusion to be drawn here is that Charlotte is atlrvr and ngp friendly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People in NY tend to be very outspoken so I can only imagine what things have been said to people. I guess the only benefit to that is that its upfront. Edited to add that while people can be mistreated anywhere, I do know that in NY (even in the hood) it wasn't uncommon to see homosexuals, transgendered, and cross dressing people walking around, in the subway, etc. doing their thing. Perhaps its just strength in numbers coupled with a brash NY attitude but that outspokenness is not missed in our homosexual population. They don't take a lot of mess :-)

However, we will never be as liberal as the Triangle because while UNCC is a fine school it does not have the rankings or intellectual heft of Duke and UNC and will never draw the highly enlightened faculty that make the Triangle so progressive.
I've heard this kind of talk before - comparing the Triangle to Charlotte. You really think formal education makes a difference in whether people will be more enlightened or not? I actually disagree with this but I'd love to hear how you came to this conclusion.

I'd never heard of Asheville as a gay haven but that's probably because its not an issue I'd be concerned with. Being that I don't have any gay friends/family in Charlotte or North Carolina (yet) it hasn't been on my radar. I didn't learn this info until reading it here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The fact of the matter is that most straight people that I know, while very fine with Gays and Lesbians, are still at the same time fairly unconfortable with signs of affection between two men. Two men holding hands in most places in the USA will get you un-necessairly noticed in a negative way by many people, two men kissing in public is threatening to many straight people who are not used to it. It's the same in NYC as it is in Charlotte, DC or Atlanta. Sure there are gayborhoods where this happens in the open, but for the most part in almost all of the USA we have to keep our affections towards each other behind closed doors. This is a fact of life in the USA in 2005.

Most instances of anti-Gay violence does go unreported in Charlotte. That is because one can still be fired from their job or evicted from their apartment simply for admitting they are Gay in this state. There are no local, state or federal laws that prevent discrimination against Gays and Lesbians and it goes on quite often. I've known a number of people over the years that were fired from jobs in Charlotte or their careers hampered greatly once knowledge of their sexuality came out. This includes all of the larger employers that originated in Charlotte. I know this happens because my volunteer work in the Gay community has exposed me to this dark side of the city.

While I have not been physically attacked, I have endured my share of name calling, and I was subjected to harrasment by the police once near one of the Gay bars in town. I had not actually gone to the bar, but this particular policeman assumed that two men in a vehicle must be Gay so they pulled us over. I was then held up for almost an hour and a half while 3 other policemen came and went, each one walking around the car shining a very bright light into the vehicle as they circled it. (remember this was at night) We were also subjected to a full search if you know what that means. Towards the end, the orignal policemen that had stopped me came and issued a ticket to me for running a red light on a street that I had not traveled on. I was advised to not fight the ticket. He made a derogotory comment then left. The comments made by the policemen during this event left no doubt why we were stopped. I guess I am fortunate that something worse did not happen though it was a humiluating experience. I've known many others that have had similar experience with the police here.

While there are plenty of accepting people in Charlotte of Gays and Lesbians, there are also many who are very vocal about wiping us off the face of the earth, including some of our elected officials. I don't need to mention Bill James (he keeps getting re-elected) but there was former councilman Hoyle Martin who did say he wanted Gays pushed off the earth. Its these people that make it difficult for the rest of us.

While this sounds negative against Charlotte, it is like this in much of the USA. It doesn't excuse what goes on here, but Charlotte really isn't that much different from other places in this regard.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I lived in Washington, DC in the late 90s, I remember hearing a segment on Charlotte on NPR. It was a piece by a former journalist for NPR who had moved to Charlotte to work in some kind of a journalistic capacity. In the piece, he said that he had been intrigued by Charlotte because, as the second largest financial center and the degree of boosterism that emanates from the city, it seemed like the beacon of the "New South" and of progressive, emergent American cities in general. After settling there, he was asked to do the piece for NPR and he said that he was disappointed by his initial perceptions of living there. To illustrate his disillusionment, he discussed how unprogressive the city was on gay issues compared to established, influential large US cities including DC. I'm not sure exactly what the issue before the city council was at that point, but I think it was including sexual orientation in the city's anti-discrimination policy on housing, employment, etc. At any rate, it was apparently defeated resoundingly. His experience of Charlotte left me with a negative perception of gay acceptance in Charlotte. Does anyone know what the issue was back in the mid to late 90s? Has it been revisited?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

M.m, your experience with the police reminds of the movie "Crash". I wonder if it is a common situation where police do things that humiliate people, for whatever reason.

I just don't know what kind of sheltered life I must live, because all this stuff sounds like the movies to me.

Without a thread like this, I suspect that many people would never even realize the harassment that gay people deal with. Thanks for sharing.

Mr. t.j. hasn't even come back to see the responses. :).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One thing I'd like to point out and this is something I found in one of the national gay papers... On May 17, 2005 the Charlotte county comissioners passed some sort of anti-discrimination law, and while the law is just with county employees it helped the community gain momentum and was seen as a Statement of tolerance... Look it up on gay.com or maybe gaycharlotte.com...

That said I'd say this, besides the matter of principle and tolerance, I don't think any law could totally stop hate or discrimination, but rather drive it underground.

A law could stop someone from firing you because your gay BUT it can't force your co-workers to be warm and inviting, they could always find creative ways to make your life unconftorble until you quit. The law works better for beureucratic, task related jobs like government and banking and BofA and all I'm sure is gay tolerant to a point.

Also to know how tolerant a place is is relative. Where your coming from, if your coming from Atlanta, your going to have a totally different view on Charlotte's social climate than someone coming from lets say Tupelo or Gastonia. Putting things in proper perspective is not a perfect science though but it's still important.

For me to get the best picture for example I would have to talk to someone gay who has lived in both Charlotte and the place I'm most familiar with (Wilkes-Barre), which I don't know anyone who has :(

On a less serious note if you if you find the homophobia a little depressing go to Amazon.com and look up the Avenue Q Soundtrack, GO to song samples for "If you were gay" It's really funny, a parody of Earnie singing to Bert that it's OK to be gay. It's kinda funny... I dare one of you guys to call the local radio stations and get the DJ to play it and dedicate it to Bill James with love!!! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess I have been lucky. I have never been the victim of harassment. My car is adorned with gay pride/antiwar stickers and I have had people in CLT glare at me and one guy cursed. That never bothers me. I have gotten more thumbs up and compliments anyhow. I agree that much goes unreported. I lived in Charleston for seven years and the community there is even more underground so Charlotte seems more open to me. I also realize that I live in a "bubble" so to speak. I work from home, my neighbors are progressive and I generally stay within Dilworth/Uptown/Plaza-Elizabeth area and while I thank god daily for the existence of our little nooks of relative gay friendliness I know they do not represent Charlotte overall. BTW, I LOVE THIS SITE!! I stumbled across it months ago but just started posting. The interface is fabulous and the categorization. There is so much great information. I get hooked and read it for hours on end.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Voyager, are you saying there is a housing bubble in uptown, Dilworth, and Plaza-Midwood? ;)

I think it is definitely true that the social culture for intown neighborhoods are very different from those in the suburbs. The northern towns have their own thing going on, probably much more progressive than typical suburbs with the demographics of Davidson College and the lake.

The police harassment, however, is most scary, as that could happen anywhere to anyone, depending on the moods and persuasion of the particular policemen. By the way, how long ago was that police incident m.m?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dilworth is such a bargain! hehe. I definitely feel a more welcoming vibe in the city but before I make too much of a generalization I know gay people in Charlotte's ssuburbs. GASP. I would hate it because I have a severe mindless sprawl allergy but most of them are happy and out. You are right that Davidson has a more progressive vibe and there is also Scottborough off of Statesville and Gibbon Road. A pseudo and more affordable Craftsman subdivsion that was marketed to gays and is lined with rainbow flags. Its so bizarrely located lol. Scottborough is right down the street from dozens of fundamentalist churches and a run down farmhouse with three Confederate flags..now that is diversity!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

...Scottborough off of Statesville and Gibbon Road. A pseudo and more affordable Craftsman subdivsion that was marketed to gays and is lined with rainbow flags.

Wow, that's interesting. How was it marketed to gays? Was it mostly just clever ad placement like Ford does with Jaguar, or did they take a less subtle route?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From what I heard one of the people behind the development was gay and advertised in Q-Notes and placed ads in the Community Center etc. My friends say there are 29 gay households in the neighborhood and its not a very large subdivision. Everyone seems to coexist pretty well from what I can see.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A very close friend of mine, who is a corporate lawyer at a large firm, is gay and moved to Charlotte from NYC 3 years ago. He actually came out when he moved down here with his partner and tells me he has had all very good experiences with people here, never a hint of descrimination or negative reactions toward their sexuality. They are not shy about holding hands in public either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Personally I think ts wrong to look down on people because they are gay. Gay people are citizens just like everyone else. I'm straight but I treat gay people the same way I would treat straight people. Does Charlotte have an businesses or companies that have alot of gay employees? In Greensboro, Replacements LTD has gay ownership and most of the employees there are gay. Replacements LTD restores and creates unique china. North Carolina is very conservative . The "christians" blast gay people for their "sins" yet they are the same ones that support the death penalty which is breaking one of God's 10 commandments "Thou Shalt not Kill. They play the morality pick and choose game. Even in Jesus teachings, he does not mention homosexuality at all. Its mentioned in one place in the bible and its mentioned among other things like you have to sacrifice animals. Bu I think religion is used by many people as an excuse to hate gay people. They twist the words in the Bible like a twizzler. I think people fear things that they don't understand. Its the same reason why people are hated because of their religion and race.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just to clarify, homosexuality is mentioned in the new testament many times (ie. not in the animal sacrific section :) ). Churches that are accepting of homosexuality, however, believe the untranslated phrase originally was referring to pedophilia only, which was common in greek culture at the time. Churches that are not accepting of homosexuality believe the untranslated phrase refers to any homosexual relationship.

I completely agree with you, however, that there is hypocrisy all over the place, especially on this subject. There are some denominations in the south that are vehemently opposed to homosexuality, and they are the same denominations that were vehemently opposed to freeing slaves in the past century. That really smacks of politics and bigotry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.