Is Charlotte Gay Friendly?

[voyager12]

It may not be saying much relative to the Northeast/New England and West Coast but North Carolina is the best southern state for us gays to live in. Its a predominantly conservative state but we are unique by having a small but growing progressive movement and cities that represent it: Asheville,Chapel Hill/Carrboro,Durham, and to a smaller extent sections of Raleigh,Charlotte, and downtown Wilmington. I don't know of any other Southern state with as many gay friendly areas.

[SmellyCat]

There was a TV news blurb over the weekend that Tammy Faye Bakker was at a gay bingo tournament in Fourth Ward. I didn't realize they had such an event here, but I think it's pretty cool. From what I understand, Fourth Ward has a fairly large gay population.

Anyway, I don't know if this belongs in the "Celebrity Sightings" thread or this one.

[charlotte_bon_vivant]

There was a TV news blurb over the weekend that Tammy Faye Bakker was at a gay bingo tournament in Fourth Ward. I didn't realize they had such an event here, but I think it's pretty cool. From what I understand, Fourth Ward has a fairly large gay population.

I've never been to gay bingo, but I hear it's great. I've seen some pictures and everyone looks fabulous! The proceeds go to AIDS organizations, which is good.

Tammy Faye is a big gay icon, especially for people who grew up in the 80s and early 90s. Remember that documentary _The Eyes of Tammy Faye_? She became a full on icon after that. She is to "Gen X'ers" what Liza Minelli was to the previous generation. (BTW- this is not to say that ALL gay people see Tammy Faye or Liza as an icon or anyone at all. Some people do consider her an icon. No big deal...)

[voyager12]

I have been several times! Its a lot of fun. We usually have as many straight people as gay...I did not go last week but I heard Tammy Faye was fabulous. There is one more season of bingo in the Spring and then they are taking a break for awhile because its totally volunteer driven and they are burned out. Check out charlottegaybingo.com Durham has Drag Bingo at the Armory.

[charlotte_bon_vivant]

We usually have as many straight people as gay...

This is the reason I haven't gone.... No offense to anyone, but I don't want to outnumber the gay people at an event that's supposed to be for gay people. I mean, people who are out and gay tend to be the minority in this country. If too many straight people come, eventually they'll be the minority at the event. It's like the days when straight couples started hanging out at drag clubs. I don't want to run anyone out like that.

But since spring is the last one for a while. I think I'll go.

[monsoon]

This is the reason I haven't gone.... No offense to anyone, but I don't want to outnumber the gay people at an event that's supposed to be for gay people. I mean, people who are out and gay tend to be the minority in this country. If too many straight people come, eventually they'll be the minority at the event. It's like the days when straight couples started hanging out at drag clubs. I don't want to run anyone out like that.

But since spring is the last one for a while. I think I'll go.

Girly I don't think you need to worry about that one. I think the greatest thing that could happen would be for more straight people to attend events held by the Gay & Lesbian community.

Gay Bingo is great event though I have not been in a couple of years, and as mentioned above the money goes for a very good cause.

Tammy Faye is a great supporter of the Gay & Lesbian community. When she and Jim were on TV running PTL I don't think I every heard them speak out in a negative fashion about us.

[cityboi]

Just to clarify, homosexuality is mentioned in the new testament many times (ie. not in the animal sacrific section ). Churches that are accepting of homosexuality, however, believe the untranslated phrase originally was referring to pedophilia only, which was common in greek culture at the time. Churches that are not accepting of homosexuality believe the untranslated phrase refers to any homosexual relationship.

I completely agree with you, however, that there is hypocrisy all over the place, especially on this subject. There are some denominations in the south that are vehemently opposed to homosexuality, and they are the same denominations that were vehemently opposed to freeing slaves in the past century. That really smacks of politics and bigotry.

People need to understand that you don't choose your sexual orientation. You dont choose to be attracted to someone weither they are of the same or opposite sex. But a homophobic will never see the logic and will believe no different from what they believe. We have a major homophic on my job. was in the military and he always talks down on gay people and says things like he doesnt want to work with gay people and he doesnt like them even if they dont do anything to him. It does sound identicle to someone who is a racist. Its the same mind set. Some churches dont welcome gay people at all but God says everyone is welcome. This kind of hatred must stop. Suicude rate is high among homosexuals becasue they just cant cope with how the world treats them. When the church kick gay people out its congregation, gay people think God does not love them which we all know God loves everyone. I do find it interesting that homosexuality is not in the ten commandments. Apperntly commiting adultry and lieing are worse.

[cityboi]

as Rodney King says, Cant we all just get along

[dubone]

as Rodney King says, Cant we all just get along

Ha! Sadly, if hateful christians won't listen to Jesus, I doubt they'll listen to Rodney the King .

Jesus said no one can claim to be sinless, and we can sum up God's entire law with one commandment "love you neighbor as yourself". I doubt that lady that yelled at Metro and BF yells at herself in the mirror and tells herself she is going to hell. Perhaps she should.

[Skyybutter]

I have mixed emotions about this one. I think Charlotte is more tolerant then it is accepting. There is a big difference. Its not that people care to much here if your gay, but god forbid you "shove it in their face".

Having said that Ive seen lots of couples holding hands at Concord Mills(i work there).

The younger generations are more accepting whereas others may be just tolerant of gays. Thats just my opinion.

[SmellyCat]

I have mixed emotions about this one. I think Charlotte is more tolerant then it is accepting. There is a big difference. Its not that people care to much here if your gay, but god forbid you "shove it in their face".

No offense, but I don't think you'll find too many places where people like to have anything "shoved in their face", whether it be one's religion, political views, or even sexual orientation.

[Version70-8]

Charlotte is not gay-friendly to the point where couples can freely show affection in all parts of the city and avoid harrassment, but overall the city is quite tolerant and safe for gays. As a gay man, the worst encounters that I ever endured were with...a few of the 'gays' in the city! There is a really strong and growing gay community in Charlotte and many straight men and women have no clue how many bars/businesses/groups truly exist. I had a lot of fun at both gay and straight bars and never felt the need to act any certain way other than my normal self and fortunately had no problem.

I think Charlotte residents do a fairly decent job of minding their own lives and maintaining civility. Also, we are in the "Conservative South" but times seem to be changing according to some recent trends, most notably Mecklenburg County voting Democratic in the last Presidential election for the first time in many years. Not too many counties in NC did the same.

One funny story...a friend of mine (straight) always thought that the nickname "Queen City" was attributed to the gays who moved to the city. I was shocked and told him that he should have known that this was not the case. He realized I was right when he thought about the many city signs printed with the crown and nickname! Later he said jokingly that the crown would have been a tiara as well if the idea of his was indeed true.

[dubone]

The younger generations are more accepting whereas others may be just tolerant of gays. Thats just my opinion.

I think you are correct on that one. My wife is a teacher, and there are quite a few gay teenagers in high schools that hold hands and kiss in public without issue. Two boys were even caught having sex on the 50 yard line of the football field in the middle of the school day. If that isn't "out", I don't know what is.

[Skyybutter]

No offense, but I don't think you'll find too many places where people like to have anything "shoved in their face", whether it be one's religion, political views, or even sexual orientation.

What Im refering to as "shoving in your face" are things such as holding hands in public, kissing in public, etc....these are all things that are socially acceptable for straight couples but unfortunately most gay couples dont feel comfortable doing that. One of the few cities Ive been in that seemed oblivious to gay public displays of affection is Montreal. What an amazing city.

[LJinPA]

No offense, but I don't think you'll find too many places where people like to have anything "shoved in their face", whether it be one's religion, political views, or even sexual orientation.

On the surface that sounds like a very fair deal in theory. People won't care id were gay as long as you don't shove it in their face. It's even a step above "Don't ask Don't tell". I have no desire to shove anything in people's face, I'm a rather shy person by nature. When str8 guys tell me it's all cool as long as I don't hit on them, again, sounds fair.. There are enough cute gay boys out there, I have no desire to chat up a straight guy.

Where the problem comes is if a gay guy so much as makes a friendly overture, or little kind deed for a guy and it's considered "hitting on them" Many of them include guys that are old and not cute. Many assune that if a guy is gay he wants to sleep with any male being from infancy to 100, it's annoying.

Also many gay men I know THINK theyre in the closet because they look masculine, went hunting when they were 14, played a sport in high school, and no one said anything to their face about any suspicions. My one X was that way even though his cell phone played "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me" for months he thinks people have no clue!

Here's my point, important things to consider when determining how "tolerant" a place is:

*Is the city a place where everyone is into each other's private business and no one can be in the closet or is it big enough for anonymity?

*Can 2 guys quietly live together without assumptions made?

*Can 2 guys have dinner together in public without everyone noticing and assuming things?

*Can guys in your city work in pink collar jobs or jobs stereotyped as being female or "artsy" without standing out too much or getting labeled or harassed? EG Can a man be a beautician and do good business.

*Can a guy confortably walk into a stereotypically female store, lets say a bath and body or a candle shop without standing out too much? Or show no interest in sports and still fit in?

*Can a man OR woman remain single into their 30's w/o being the talk of the town...

*OR lol Can a guy have his cell go off in public with some sort of "diva music" ring tone as I referred to above without the whole place turning their head?

Not every city can be "The Village", but I'm just making examples of ?'s that may sound paranoid but are things to consider for any new city...

[atlrvr]

I think Charlotte passes the test on all those levels, though I would say people tend to assume things regardless.....if a guy and girl live together its assumed their in a relationship.....but I think to your point, most people I know don't really care about any of the examples you gave....it's a big enough city that most people don't take the time to form a negative opinion on other peoples lives.

[monsoon]

I think Charlotte passes the test on all those levels, though I would say people tend to assume things regardless.....if a guy and girl live together its assumed their in a relationship.....but I think to your point, most people I know don't really care about any of the examples you gave....it's a big enough city that most people don't take the time to form a negative opinion on other peoples lives.

Indeed that is true about Mecklenburg County and Charlotte.

[SmellyCat]

One of the few cities Ive been in that seemed oblivious to gay public displays of affection is Montreal. What an amazing city.

Yes. Too bad it's populated by French people though.

[dubone]

Cr

[krazeeboi]

I think you are correct on that one. My wife is a teacher, and there are quite a few gay teenagers in high schools that hold hands and kiss in public without issue. Two boys were even caught having sex on the 50 yard line of the football field in the middle of the school day. If that isn't "out", I don't know what is.

That's just plain INDECENT, gay or straight.

[voyager12]

I think Charlotte will continue to evolve into a place of gay tolerance but never will be gay friendly in the Asheville or Chapel Hill sense. The city is inherently conservative,dominated by a buttoned down corporate culture. The religious right is also omnipresent through our dozens and dozens of fundamentalist churches. As a previous poster says the majority of Charlotteans are polite to us gays but it will never go beyond that. Not that it bothers me much, the gay community is active enough to offer a great support system and there are enough enlightened and loving straight people to make any rational mo' content IMHO.

[LJinPA]

http://www.urbanplanet.org/forums/index.ph...21entry266321

As I mentioned on that thread (from Urban Discussions) one can always go to gaybars.com or damron.com and check the listings for each city, they mention a lot for Charlotte, even a bar in Hickory and Rock Hill!!!

I also mentioned on there how I met people, more than one who found my interest in things like skyscraper forums to be more eccentric than being gay. Taking up time where normal guys should be watching sports, action movies, or "This Old House" or at the pub(perhaps shopping NYC, King of Prussia...if your gay) To many people "nerdy" is worse than "queeny" I guess.

[Sabaidee]

I think the younger generations in Charlotte are more accepting towards gay. High schools in general is a totally different place from those who might have graduated before the mid 90s. I feel gays are more comfortable about their sexuality and themselves in Charlotte than the gays that are portrayed on TV shows. During my senior year, class of 04, our prom queen was openly gay and so was our senior class vice president. Even in our yearbook, it showed one of my friends and her girlfriend kissing. I think with each generation starting in high school and such, will progressively get more accepting.

[Damien]

There was a TV news blurb over the weekend that Tammy Faye Bakker was at a gay bingo tournament in Fourth Ward. I didn't realize they had such an event here, but I think it's pretty cool. From what I understand, Fourth Ward has a fairly large gay population.

Anyway, I don't know if this belongs in the "Celebrity Sightings" thread or this one.

Tammy Faye is a big fan of gays. She was also at a gay bingo event in Durham earlier this year. I love Tammy Faye, of course I guess you cant be gay and not love a woman who wears more makeup than a drag queen.

[LJinPA]

Evaluating Turner's description of the American character and of American values yields more mixed results. His dictum that Americans were individualistic for instance, had long been and continues to be a cliche of questionable validity. My own researches of the eighteenth century demonstrate that in most places the community policed the manners and morals of all its members and was extremely intolerant when individuals departed from the norms expected of persons of a given place in the social hierarchy. Social hierarchies became much more fluid in the nineteenth century, it is true; but one needs only to read Tocqueville or Dickens to understand that, while Americans were wont to boast rudely of their individualism and equality, they continued in fact to be conformists. The one exception was the South. Obsessed with honor, quick to take offense, and prone to violence, Southerners developed a veneer of politeness and a spirit of live and let live, which led to an extreme tolerance of eccentric behavior.

I found this in an article for "The World and I" Magazine in an article titled "Rugged Individualism" Just so anyone knows I'm not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing with that paragraph or article, just curious.

Where I have a BIG question is about the last sentence of this paragraph... I have heard this discussed a long time ago I think on SSP how "In the South, we put our eccentrics on the front porch.." something like that. Yet the region is known for social conservatism and religion. It would seem like a paradox. Could someone explain in "lay persons terms" what they mean by "live and let live" or "eccentric behavior" this referrs to. Would "gayness" be covered under that description of eccentric? Or does that article only refer to a certain part of the south rather than the Carolina Piedmont?

I do understand having been a Soc. major that any culture can have contradictions, paradoxes, loopholes that are hard for an outsider to understand. That's why I'm wondering if someone can explain it in more down to earth terms and where the "banking capitol of the South" would fit in to that.

Speaking of: In the newer version of I believe the Damron road atlas I was flipping through at B&N was a big ad for one of Charlotte's "Leather" establishments. The headline said "CHARLOTTE: Banking center of America/ Leather capitol of the South" Now if that isn't paradox right there... There is an expression that the further one way a culture goes, the further the other way those who rebel against it go. Paradox can have a charm of it's own. You could look it up if you don't believe me.