Christian Influence

[SmellyCat]

Lupitachica, I find it ironic that many if not most of your posts have involved discussions of race and I think I recall you mentioning that you were a person of color. I find it ironic, because here you are stereotyping Southerners in all sorts of negative ways. It's amazing how much you know about Southerners for the all of - what - 3 months you've graced us with your presence? You give a bad name for the thousands of other NYers who have relocated down here and I want to go on record for one as saying this is not the norm.

Of course, you will probably respond with your expansively embellished psychobabble that you read in an HR diversity awareness training manual last week or heard on NPR this morning, with which you try to impress upon us your knowledge on social issues. But I'm not buying it anymore.

Here's another tip if you want people to be more positive to you. Try looking at them as PEOPLE, not as whites or jews or Southerners or New Yorkers or Asians or Republicans or Christians or handicapped or whatever. Get it?

Editor's note: I like NPR.

[ilektronik]

lupitachica -

I grew up in the DC area (northern VA) but moved to NY and was there for a number of years. I sort of consider DC the gateway between north and south so I have an impartial perspective. I have seen rude people in NY, i have seen rude people in CLT. I have seen wonderfully nice people in NY, i have seen wonderfully nice people in CLT. I have heard funny accents in NY (especially upstate, eh?) and have heard funny accents here in CLT. In the end though, it's all the same really. People are people. We all bleed the same red blood, unless you are Vulcan of course.

[Miesian Corners]

Here's another tip if you want people to be more positive to you. Try looking at them as PEOPLE, not as whites or jews or Southerners or New Yorkers or Asians or Republicans or Christians or handicapped or whatever. Get it?

Editor's note: I like NPR.

Thanks, Smelly. You said (much better) exactly what I was trying to convey. I had a neighbor once who always put a person's profession before the word "friend" (i.e.: banker friend, doctor friend, lawyer friend). She equated a person's worth with what they did for a living. It always annoyed the crap out of me. This reminds me of that.

BTW, NPR rocks!

[lupitachica]

I didn't realize that this was a forum that was only for fans of a particular city. Did I miss something? I thought it was a place to discuss urban life, cities, the residents and experiences there. A question was asked and to answer it required one to comment generally about Charlotte and its residents tolerance of religious difference and "outsiders" in general. Though I did not, nor was attempting to, negatively characterize the south or Charlotte - EVEN IF I WAS - that would be my opinion and wouldn't this be the forum to express it? I was speaking specifically to regional differences in a forum about different regions. I would expect that the questioner would take my opinion, those of others, and formulate their own.

Some of you say that Charlotte is tolerant of diversity of thought and perspective yet at the same time you say "move back to the place that you came from" if you don't like it here. You didn't like my take on politeness? Well I'm certainly not the first to express this sentiment. Are you gonna ban Faulkner or Ellison? Maybe you want to kick out many of the numerous southern authors and scholars who've offered similar commentary over the years?

Charlotte is a tolerant city and you better not say anything to the contrary or you can get the f* out!

Way to prove your point, guys.

As for the rest, I say that there are mischaracterizations being posted here about my feelings on this city, my comments on this thread and my feelings about southerners in general. Go back and reread this thread (and many of the others), get a dictionary if necessary and diagram some sentences then get back to me and say "see here this is where you said that Charlotte is full of bigots? Or "this is where you implied that all southerners are conspiring asses" or "this is where you said you were having a hard time or bad experiences with people in Charlotte" or "here is where you were judging people as republicans or asians instead of people first". Back up all those statements and quote me please.

I am really interested in how can conclude that I believe that "southern people (presumably anybody from the south) are conspiring asses" from these statements:

Everyone is friendly, Charlotte has some of the most polite people I've ever met (and I'm not complaining) and I've traveled some. But its all a bit plastic.

I'm saying Charlotte can feel at times a bit "plastic

The smiles/courtesty are sometimes rote and sometimes they seem to mask a whole lot of anger and hostility. Sometimes when you dig a little deeper real sentiment and feelings come out and the people are not nearly as good hearted as the general smiles and courteous demeanor would lead one to believe.

"a newcomer may not want to make the mistake of confusing politeness with acceptance/cordiality as they are often not 1 and the same".

Please explain how specific comments about what I've noticed (though never stated I had an issue) with some of the residents of Charlotte have morphed into a negative characterization of the entire southern population of the United States of America?

Metro.m as an administrator I had expected you to have more of a moderator's role here. That was clearly wrong. How is it that you select which posters you will single out? I can go back through this site and find many comments that I believe to be racist, classist, sexist, etc to which you had no commentary or express any concern about who was insulted. As you represent the site, do you think that you are being fair or appropriate with your comments? Additionally, do you think your behavior encourages an open dialogue and discussion in this forum about people's thoughts on the various cities in which they live or have visited.

[monsoon]

We have seen our share of posters here who only post at UP because they have some axe to grind. They don't like their city, don't like a group of people, they are generally resentful of the status quo, etc etc etc. In your case, and as expressed by others here, I think you fall into that category. In your rebuttal above you are being disingenuous by cherry picking sentences out of context to somehow prove this isn't the case.

You can express whatever opinion you like as long as you follow the forum rules. In your posts you have chosen to imply that White Southerners are intolerant of everything that is different and not from here and while we are polite, they could never accept someone such as yourself. Whatever that means. And you crossed the line when you said that Southerners have developed being two faced to a fine art. If you didn't mean that, then fine. But you brought this upon yourself by totally devoting yourself to posts here that only deal with race and crime and the perceived injustices related to both.

And I think it is a fair question to ask "why don't you move back" if you think the place you came from is so much better than here. (including the inhabitants) People don't like being preached to and that is what you have done.

If there is a racist comment here I will deal with it if there is a complaint. I don't have any. If you want to lodge a specific complaint about something posted here that you think is racist then send a PM and I will look into it. If you just don't like this forum in general, then take the same advice that was given about not liking the city. It can't be more simple than that.

[lupitachica]

I can't defend myself again false accusations. There are my words which can be quoted and yet there is only talk about what is "implied". Why? Because the accusations & assumptions don't stand up to scrutiny when the actual words are quoted. For example, I never once qualified polite southerners by race - it simply did not happen. Reread the thread - the words are there and they don't lie. you have chosen to imply that White Southerners are intolerant of everything that is different and not from here and while we are polite, they could never accept someone such as yourself. Really? Where?

I like this forum, I like the discussion in it. I've learned alot about the city of Charlotte and found out why certain things are the way they are here from reading truthful commentary and criticism about this city. I will follow the rules of this forum and I expect to be treated in the same manner as everyone else and the rules to be enforced with the same vigor on everyone.

That being said, back on topic. T.j.2125 as I said originally, "I don't think that Charlotte is closed, I just think that its not a very diverse place even with many of the residents being relocators. I suspect a lot of those who have relocated here are cut from the same type of clothe (even if they're coming from different places). And then the culture here sort of encourages conformity and sameness. You're not going to be rejected but you shouldn't rock the boat to hard either."

I stand by that statement and I hope that helps you in making your determination about living here. I was given this picture of Charlotte prior to coming here and this helped me with managing my expectations. As a southern shop owner politely & pointedly told me when I asked about greens w/o pork in her establishment "honey, your in the south now". She was right. My expectations about something as simple as how my food would be prepared had to change because I am in a different place, culturally. If you keep that in mind before coming here, it should help in terms of managing feelings of alienation, etc.

[Miesian Corners]

As a southern shop owner politely & pointedly told me when I asked about greens w/o pork in her establishment "honey, your in the south now". She was right. My expectations about something as simple as how my food would be prepared had to change because I am in a different place, culturally. If you keep that in mind before coming here, it should help in terms of managing feelings of alienation, etc.

And I couldn't get decent grits when I lived in Syracuse or Philadelphia. I guess it all evens out in the end, huh?

[socaguy]

I cannot speak for Charlotte, but having lived in a neighboring metro area (GSP) for over 5 years now I have grown to just ignore the anti-athiest remarks and prayers I hear on almost a daily basis. Yes, I feel outnumbered and sometimes I let it get to me but then I think....who the hell cares? Not me. You just have to ignore all the ignorance that comes with living in the Buckle of the Bible Belt.