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hauntedheadnc

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It's funny (actually I was just giving you a hard time,) Raleigh/Durham is too unprogressive for what he's looking for. I'm not saying it's a bad area, I just don't think it fits in with his needs. The gay community is much more prominent in other regions. Atlanta and Charlotte are more the SanFrans of the south.

Are you serious? The home of nascar and corporate banking is "not" a San Francisco. One of the main reasons I like Charlotte is, because of the place being more family oriented and traditional than most of places on the east coast. Ashville,Carrboro, Chapel Hill, and even Raleigh are what I consider liberal/bohemian. Predominately, Charlotte is neither. That'snot to say he won't find the lifestyle he's looking for there. It's a nice size city. ATL is the only black San Franciso though.

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I'm still bouncing back and forth between Charlotte, and Winston-Salem, although if someone could give me a good reason, I'd seriously consider Columbia.

Check out the Columbia forum and ask some questions; you can start with this post and the responses to it to get a feel for what you're looking for.

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I really like Columbia. Although it is the hottest place on the face of the earth in the summer (its built over a vent from hell), its an attractive city with a lot going on. Very hilly, great Zoo, big downtown university, and a progressive city government (not at all like the State government that just happens to do its bidding in the City), and a decent music scene. The mayor of Columbia actually invited the Human Rights Campaign to stage its 2007 dinner in the city. Charlotte's mayor, Pat McCrory wouldn't even send a welcome letter to the group (Coble is a Dem, McCrory, a Rep).

I have no idea what gay life is like there, but seeing as that its got such a large 20-something population (due to USC), I'd imagine there'd be decent bars and such. There are also two predominantly black colleges there (Allen University and Bennedict College) that would seemingly add positively to the mix.

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It's funny (actually I was just giving you a hard time,) Raleigh/Durham is too unprogressive for what he's looking for. I'm not saying it's a bad area, I just don't think it fits in with his needs. The gay community is much more prominent in other regions. Atlanta and Charlotte are more the SanFrans of the south.

I definately agree with that an to not agree with that like ralieighsfinest is to not truely know charlottes gay culture, I, even tho I'm straight, have been emersed in charlottes gay culture and its going strong, far stronger than raleigh, or asheville, or chapel hill, I don't think of those as very gay friendly areas. I've never seen 8 rainbow stickers in downtown raleigh on cars in a 15 min span, but you know where i did, charlotte. And as far as gay black men go, I know way more than a handfull, and as I said before, I'm straight

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I definately agree with that an to not agree with that like ralieighsfinest is to not truely know charlottes gay culture, I, even tho I'm straight, have been emersed in charlottes gay culture and its going strong, far stronger than raleigh, or asheville, or chapel hill, I don't think of those as very gay friendly areas. I've never seen 8 rainbow stickers in downtown raleigh on cars in a 15 min span, but you know where i did, charlotte. And as far as gay black men go, I know way more than a handfull, and as I said before, I'm straight

Thanks Ricky

Are you serious? The home of nascar and corporate banking is "not" a San Francisco. One of the main reasons I like Charlotte is, because of the place being more family oriented and traditional than most of places on the east coast. Ashville,Carrboro, Chapel Hill, and even Raleigh are what I consider liberal/bohemian. Predominately, Charlotte is neither. That's not to say he won't find the lifestyle he's looking for there. It's a nice size city. ATL is the only black San Francisco though.

http://www.velocitync.com/nmain2.htm

I'm guessing you haven't made it down to Velocity in recent years, or heard of it much less. I had a friend that took me there, not informing me of what I was getting myself into; let's just say I got a shock. I was blind of Charlotte's gay community until I was introduced to that area. Charlotte has a very large gay population for a city its size.

If you don't have a friend or a job waiting for you, and I won't, you've got to have a job before you can move to a place. However, to find a job, you have to live in a place usually. Most everywhere I've ever worked takes one look at mailed in resumes or emailed resumes, has a hearty laugh and then deposits said resumes in the circular file.

So here I am with my piddly little associates degree in travel and tourism and my work experience, wondering if Charlotte will even have a place for me.

It is relatively easy to find a job in Charlotte. With the recent calming of the banks' layoffs, there is a miniscule unemployment population (compared to most cities.) And most of those people aren't vying for jobs. Now, I would recommend not setting your sights too high as the higher paid jobs might have an issue with what you were talking about with the address. But hey, with as many opportunities as Charlotte has, it can't hurt to try obviously.

With whatever you decide, good luck

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My biggest perogative in finding a job is health insurance. I have HIV and I'm living on borrowed time, as all of my healthcare is provided by a free HIV clinic in Asheville. God help if I ever need surgery or get cancer, or anything like that. Aside from that, every job in Charlotte pays more than any job in Asheville.

Up here, if you aren't willing to work a crap job for slave wages, someone else will because people are beating each other over the head to live here, and people are willing to put up with enormous hassles and irritations in order to live in Asheville. It depresses wages, which aren't all that high to begin with because our economy is based on tourism and retail.

Ironically, tourism and retail are the jobs I've always held. My dream job would be to work fulltime in a bookstore again, with health benefits. I can guarantee that any job with, say, Borders or B&N will pay at least three dollars more an hour than an identical job here. I'm not averse to having a roommate or seven, and while I'd sure love to live downtown, I realize that someone working that kind of job won't be able to afford to.

Basically, the object of this game is to find a job with health insurance, and to find a nice black guy to waltz down the aisle with just the moment they legalize it in this state. Charlotte seems to hold the most promise for both of these goals, although I will look into Columbia. There it would be strangely comforting to be on the same interstate as my family, if that makes any sense.

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Thank you for your reply, but let me ask this in all honesty...

Is Charlotte bland? I realize that it's a business city, and a big city, and that it has pockets that could be considered bohemian.

But, does Charlotte have a flavor? Take your stereotypical Ashevillian and stick them in the middle of Uptown. Would they be happy?

In my opinion, and compared to what I'm accustomed to, Charlotte seems bland, and I think any "stereotypical Ashevillian" might agree. I don't think Charlotte really compares with a city like Asheville when you're talking flavor. Sure it's got some really tall buildings, and I'll bet there are pockets of flavor here and there, but I don't think Charlotte, or any city in the Tar Heel State measures up in the flavor department.

I hope I haven't violated the "city bashing" clause.

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In my opinion, and compared to what I'm accustomed to, Charlotte seems bland, and I think any "stereotypical Ashevillian" might agree. I don't think Charlotte really compares with a city like Asheville when you're talking flavor. Sure it's got some really tall buildings, and I'll bet there are pockets of flavor here and there, but I don't think Charlotte, or any city in the Tar Heel State measures up in the flavor department.

I hope I haven't violated the "city bashing" clause.

That's the same vibe I get. There's different strokes for different folks I guess. If I was single, DC or ATL would be my first choice, in this area. Charlotte, Raleigh, and ATL are my first choices for raising a family.

Oh yeah i'm not gay. However, i'm quite sure the gay atmosphere in ATL, far outweighs Charlotte. Hence the fact that ATL is known as "the black San Francisco."

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Oh yeah i'm not gay. However, i'm quite sure the gay atmosphere in ATL, far outweighs Charlotte. Hence the fact that ATL is known as "the black San Francisco."

Funny, I am Gay and I never heard ATL mentioned in that manner until this thread started. As Aussie Luke mentioned above Charlotte has a very large Gay population for its size and easily, IMO, the largest in the Carolinas. And there is a lot of "flavor" with that.

Personally I found Charlotte to be a great place to be as a Gay man both when I was single and now that I am part of a couple. I like living here not because I have to, but because I want to.

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I'm a straight Black man, but I wouldn't want to live in Myrtle Beach, Asheville, Wilmington (were I grew up), Charleston, etc until I get a tad closer to retirement age. I've spent time in all of them and they are great tourist towns, but when it comes to living and having a variety of options for Black people, give me Charlotte, RDU, Greensboro, Columbia or Greenville for destinations in the Carolinas for professional living. These areas have a greater concentration of African Americans, thus have more African American centered events (CIAA in Charlotte for example, plays, clubs, organizations, etc). That's one reason I chose Durham after leaving Washington, DC.

No, they don't compare, but there's a high concentration of professional African Americans in Durham (Raleigh) and there's usually something going on somewhere (short drives to Greensboro, etc.). In addition, these areas have Black colleges - additional dimension to an area for Black people in my opinion (sports, functions, parties, etc).

These areas have a variety of people relocating in bulk, giving you a greater opportunity to meet more people. I don't know what some people mean by "flavor" , but as a Black man, give me Charlotte's "flavor" for living day-to-day over Asheville's anyday.

I'm not in touch with the gay scene, but would imagine from a microscopic view point, it would apply on a larger scale.

Although, Charleston (& Wilmington to an extent) are not bad, but not quite there yet.

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Funny, I am Gay and I never heard ATL mentioned in that manner until this thread started. As Aussie Luke mentioned above Charlotte has a very large Gay population for its size and easily, IMO, the largest in the Carolinas. And there is a lot of "flavor" with that.

I'm not gay, but one thing that I do know about Atlanta is that it is definitely the Black gay capital of America (although from what I hear, DC may give Atlanta a run for its money here). I also believe it has one of the biggest (if not the biggest) Black gay pride festivals in the nation. Charlotte and Atlanta are worlds apart in this category.

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Ok guys, not to be a jerk about the whole ATL vs CLT thing, but, that's not the question. I mean, it's pretty much obvious, with a larger population comes larger minorities in ALMOST all circumstances. Let me repeat, "ALMOST," before I get some criticism about that.

He asked about the Carolinas, not Georgia, not DC. In other words, Raleigh, Charlotte, W-S, Columbia, Charleston, you get the idea.

So, IMO, in comparison to Asheville, you have to look at Charlotte through the big picture. If you're talking how much of the city has flavor, Asheville will win by, let's say, a percentage view. However, as far as total "flavor," Charlotte offers much more variety on a larger scale. Thus, by having a smaller percentage of "flavor" but on a much larger scale, Charlotte would actually have more flavor. Here, use a bad analogy:

You pour out a basket of fruit (no pun intended) and it has 8 bananas and 2 apples. 80% right? That's good. Now, look at a basket that is, say, 7 times larger; pour it out. You get 30% bananas. Not a good percentage. But, when you count the bananas, you find you have 21 bananas. You do some math here because I'm tired of writing like this. :silly: More bananas. More flavor. Charlotte's flavor is the minority because it is being masked by the uptown banking business professional getup.

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We're not experts or anything. It's just basically being knowledgeable about public lifestyles outside of our own. ATL is known as the black San Fran. It's common knowledge.

For instance the thoughts that come to mind are these when it comes to certain cities.

Raleigh- NC State, Singles, Bars, Sprawl, Wealth, Rudeness, State Capital,education, Venture capitals,Diversity, Police, Intense Growth.

Charlotte-BOA building, Red, White, Blue, Pro teams, Nascar, Indep. Blvd, True southern lifestyles, Southern food restaurants, Traffic.

ATL- Malls, Music industry, Growth, Gays, Thugs, Families, Buckhead, Coca- cola, Strip Clubs, and a Skyline that rivals cities 4-5 times it's size.

Ok guys, not to be a jerk about the whole ATL vs CLT thing, but, that's not the question. I mean, it's pretty much obvious, with a larger population comes larger minorities in ALMOST all circumstances. Let me repeat, "ALMOST," before I get some criticism about that.

He asked about the Carolinas, not Georgia, not DC. In other words, Raleigh, Charlotte, W-S, Columbia, Charleston, you get the idea.

So, IMO, in comparison to Asheville, you have to look at Charlotte through the big picture. If you're talking how much of the city has flavor, Asheville will win by, let's say, a percentage view. However, as far as total "flavor," Charlotte offers much more variety on a larger scale. Thus, by having a smaller percentage of "flavor" but on a much larger scale, Charlotte would actually have more flavor. Here, use a bad analogy:

You pour out a basket of fruit (no pun intended) and it has 8 bananas and 2 apples. 80% right? That's good. Now, look at a basket that is, say, 7 times larger; pour it out. You get 30% bananas. Not a good percentage. But, when you count the bananas, you find you have 21 bananas. You do some math here because I'm tired of writing like this. :silly: More bananas. More flavor. Charlotte's flavor is the minority because it is being masked by the uptown banking business professional getup.

That's my point exactly about Charlotte. Like I said it a nice size city, so he is bound to find something.

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We're not experts or anything. It's just basically being knowledgeable about public lifestyles outside of our own. ATL is known as the black San Fran. It's common knowledge.

For instance the thoughts that come to mind are these when it comes to certain cities.

Raleigh- NC State, Singles, Bars, Sprawl, Wealth, Rudeness, State Capital,education, Venture capitals,Diversity, Police, Intense Growth.

Charlotte-BOA building, Red, White, Blue, Pro teams, Nascar, Indep. Blvd, True southern lifestyles, Southern food restaurants, Traffic.

ATL- Malls, Music industry, Growth, Gays, Thugs, Families, Buckhead, Coca- cola, Strip Clubs, and a Skyline that rivals cities 4-5 times it's size.

That's my point exactly about Charlotte. Like I said it a nice size city, so he is bound to find something.

Sure, the ATL has a larger African American population/ratio and notoriety for having a strong AA gay scene. But trying to classify mid-to-large metros in the south is absurd (more similar than different). There are strip clubs, "thugs", gays, singles, bars, wealth, rudeness, intense growth, traffic, families, southern culture (NASCAR, grits, collard greens, music taste), and "malls" in every one of those metros. The ATL metro is 3-4 times larger than the other two, so do the numbers on expected amenities as well as cosmopolitan environment. Also, in a development sense, Charlotte's urban core is well ahead of Raleigh or Durhams but we have potential and starting to fulfill it on a smaller scale.

AND NO, the ATL skyline does not rival cities 4-5 times it's size, maybe your confusing city size with metro size (i.e., Houston, Dallas, etc. are comparable).

Each metro has a subtle uniqueness but not to the extent you can't find sweet tea, bubba, hustlers, Hugo Boss suits, rimmed-out cadillacs, etc. There are tons of NASCAR fans in the RDU metro and out in the RTP. I've worked with many that made upwards to six figures or more a year. My ex-manager at a prominent telecom company in RTP in his early 40's, San Diego native, was a Lowes Motor Speedway regular. I'm sure the same goes for the ATL. We tend to stereotype NASCAR fans very similar to the word "thug". Ok, I'm guilty as well, but let's not classify or generalize areas based on stereotypes.

One may lead in certain areas but not by a land slide, say compared to New York City or Chicago where the culture is extremely different (for that matter DC).

But, if the person who started this thread wants to remain in the Carolinas (with a short commute to home) and enhance his potential for meeting someone, he's better suited for Charlotte as the city has significantly more diversity than Asheville (especially what he's looking for). Just my opinion.

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We're not experts or anything. It's just basically being knowledgeable about public lifestyles outside of our own. ATL is known as the black San Fran. It's common knowledge.

Uhh. I have already stated that it isn't common knowledge.

Anyone who would imply there is something as a Gay Lifestyle, just doesn't get it. I am always surprised at the stereotypes that people try to attribute to Gays when they don't understand that most Gays, tend to live exactly the same lives as everyone else. They have houses, yards, careers, go to events, get involved int he community, etc etc. For that reason, Gays are going to choose to live in Charlotte for the same reasons as everyone else who lives here. They like the city, there are a lot of things to do, it has good weather, the economy is good, and so forth. By your own words you are not an expert at Gay society, but I am given that I have been fairly active in the local Charlotte Gay community for a long time.

The Charlotte metro has 2+ million people in it and Mecklenburg county is closing in on a million people which makes for a sizeable Gay community with people from all races. I can say from my direct personal knowledge that there isn't any problem in Charlotte with meeting people from all races creeds, etc.

I disagree with your characterizations of the other cities that you listed. They seem to be based more on stereotypes rather than any reality. Traffic for example is far worse in Atlanta and Raleigh than it is in Charlotte, and if you don't think there are "Thugs" as you put it in all 3 places, you are sadly mistaken.

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Did I say there was a problem meeting people in Charlotte? Did I say there is only one lifestyle Gays live? Aren't I entitled to what I think of when I picture those cities? Did I say ATL doe not have traffic problems? Did you understand that was just a summarization?

Learn something. Every city has it's flaws, Charlotte is not an exception to that rule. That doesn't mean it's a bad city.

Are you black? If not, you cannot directly speak on the gay lifestyle in ATL, or the lifestyle of black people. Right?

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Are you black? If not, you cannot directly speak on the gay lifestyle in ATL, or the lifestyle of black people. Right?

Actually I have dated a Black guy from Atlanta. Get back to me after you have done the same. I don't think you have said you are Black and you have already said that you are not Gay, so by your own definition you are not even remotely qualified to discuss this subject.

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Do let us know what u decide. Just curious though, How come you left Raleigh-Durham out of the mix? Lot's to do here. A extremely college oriented area. And a fairly unconservative area, with forward thinking.

Durham has a (per-capita, not in absolute numbers) big African-American population in particular; though the Triangle is farther from the mountains (an easy trip from Charlotte), and there are serious sprawl issues here.

I've been in the Triangle for 6 years and I still don't exactly know what to make of the regional gay community. A little tough making friends here at first, though I attribute that more to the sprawliness of the area than anything else. In many ways the general gay and lesbian community is quite progressive and active in the general cultural landscape of the area (for example, a few elected political figures), but there are also the usual divides that I think you'll find anywhere. I'm African-American, my bf is Chinese and I know (especially since getting to know him) how self-contained the ethnic enclaves are within the local gay community, which I think speaks to the true diversity of the area; though I wish we saw more of that 'true' diversity - once you think you know that local community, you do discover some vast new facet...

I'd be interested in knowing what the 'vibe' is like in some of the other metro gay communities around the state, just out of curiosity...

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