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mallguy

Uptown elevator etiquette

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Being somewhat new to the South, could I please get some insights on Charlotte's uptown elevator etiquette rule, which do not apply in the Northeast?

According to this seemingly uniformly-enforced uptown rule, since I am a guy, no matter how much of a hurry I am in, and even if I am standing right next to the elevator door, ready to jump off, I have to wait for any woman who wants to exit first, even if she is at the back of the elevator and begins to pack up her things and move towards the door only after the door has already opened?

Does most every guy uptown follow this rule? What are the consequences of breaking it? For example, if I am at the front of the elevator, next to the door, ready to go, but there are perhaps multiple women at the back of the elevator who keep talking even after the door opens, do I have to wait for them? And why don't women automatically move to the door so that they will be ready to jump off when the door opens, avoiding causing unnecessary delays to guys, as guys apparently have to let them off first anyhow?

I saw a Miss Manners column on this that stated that waiting for a woman to leave first can be rude in that it's making a show of being polite, and I thought that in 2006 men and women were equal.

Not trying to vent or rant, but just curious as to whether others follow this rule, or if it's just my co-workers and me. Thanks.

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I am originally a northern transplant but I think its good manners to hold doors open for women and doubly so in professional environments. I have only gotten appreciation in return.

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I grew up in NC, and I pay no attention to the gender of the other elevator riders. I let the ones closest to the door leave first. No woman has ever said to me that I'm being rude, by being the first one out.

I do make an effort to squeeze into a corner or near the back, if I know I'm riding pretty high up. That way people (whomever) can get by, without asking me to make room... or to briefly step outside on their floor.

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I pretty much just come and go as I please, I don't really pay attention to the whole gender thing.

We gave women the right to vote, now it's their turn to give up something in exchange. :)

jk

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For me, it depends on how many people are on the elevator. If it's say, four or less, then I'd wait for the woman to leave, but if it's more than that, then whomever's closest to the door gets pushed out first.

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I generally let women in and out of elevators ahead of me out of courtesy. I was not raised in the South, and I like this bit of ettiquite. Funny thing is that people look at me in a surprised fashion when I do this in other places.

I agree that no one will give you dirty looks if you break this rule, and if you are right next to the door and can't let anyone out without you moving, it's perfectly OK to just go first. I use the general rule that if it will take more time for everyone to get out if I try to be "polite", I'll just go first and get out of the way.

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I generally let women in and out of elevators ahead of me out of courtesy. I was not raised in the South, and I like this bit of ettiquite. Funny thing is that people look at me in a surprised fashion when I do this in other places.

I agree that no one will give you dirty looks if you break this rule, and if you are right next to the door and can't let anyone out without you moving, it's perfectly OK to just go first. I use the general rule that if it will take more time for everyone to get out if I try to be "polite", I'll just go first and get out of the way.

I would say SWH said the generally accepted rule.....letting women out first if the elevator is not crowded and doesn't slow everything down is what is expected, but I wouldn't worry about being reprimanded if you don't. I typically follow the rule, and more times than not get a thank-you from whoever I let exit first.

Note: In order to look like you know the rule, you have to give at least a half-smile to whomever you let out first, otherwise people will think that its your first time in a tall building and are disoriented.

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I don't think there is a good answer to this. Some business women consider it an insult by men not to be treated like you would treat other men. Others appreciate the gesture.

Generally is the woman is a collegue at work, I don't hold the door or wait. Outside of work, I usually do, especially if the woman is elderly.

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Only elevator etiquette that bothers me is when people rush to get on the elevator and don't let people off first. And, on escalators, when people don't stand to the right.

I would consider it to be friendly manners, but its certainly not an expectation. And, I would always assume it to be politeness and not any sort of condescension.

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I am a total southen gentleman on this one, so even if there is a crowd of women I wait on them. I do sometimes get a look from some as to suggest "it is ok, you don't have to wait on me, I can wait my turn", but still none-the-less I insist on me being the patient gentleman. Don't get me wrong I am totally for a woman being equal, but I still have that Southern etiquette running rich through my blood. I think even if I were in another country with different etiquette, I would have a hard time not holdng a door, or perhaps waiting on a woman to leave or enter first. When I lived in Philly, I noticed it actually reversed the woman's mentality and I gained favor. Most of them wanted to hear me talk, and to be quite honest, I think I had it easier pcking up a date in Philly than in the South :) . I think it really does have to do with a woman wanting that certain level of respect. In the end, I think it is human nature to honor and respect women, even if she is the CEO of a global enterprize. It is no disrespect, but rather the opposite.

A2

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Only elevator etiquette that bothers me is when people rush to get on the elevator and don't let people off first. And, on escalators, when people don't stand to the right.

I would consider it to be friendly manners, but its certainly not an expectation. And, I would always assume it to be politeness and not any sort of condescension.

I agree, I really get irritated when I'm about to get off the elevator and a group of people are standing right at the door waiting to jump on. You have to basically shove past them in order to get out while they are getting on. I think it is proper etiquette to allow some space between yourself and the door while waiting on an elevator. Standing in front of the door can only slow things down unless you're the only one on the elevator.

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I fail to see what the big deal is. How big of a hurry are people in? Good manners are just that: good manners.

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Being somewhat new to the South, could I please get some insights on Charlotte's uptown elevator etiquette rule, which do not apply in the Northeast?

According to this seemingly uniformly-enforced uptown rule, since I am a guy, no matter how much of a hurry I am in, and even if I am standing right next to the elevator door, ready to jump off, I have to wait for any woman who wants to exit first, even if she is at the back of the elevator and begins to pack up her things and move towards the door only after the door has already opened?

Does most every guy uptown follow this rule? What are the consequences of breaking it? For example, if I am at the front of the elevator, next to the door, ready to go, but there are perhaps multiple women at the back of the elevator who keep talking even after the door opens, do I have to wait for them? And why don't women automatically move to the door so that they will be ready to jump off when the door opens, avoiding causing unnecessary delays to guys, as guys apparently have to let them off first anyhow?

I saw a Miss Manners column on this that stated that waiting for a woman to leave first can be rude in that it's making a show of being polite, and I thought that in 2006 men and women were equal.

Not trying to vent or rant, but just curious as to whether others follow this rule, or if it's just my co-workers and me. Thanks.

I thought you grew up in Greenville, SC, didn't realize you were new to the South. Hmmm.

Elevator etiquette that I've always been taught is "last on, first off", provided everyone is getting off on the same floor. The strange elevator issue I've noticed is the people standing waiting to board the elevator want to rush in, before anyone has had time to exit the elevator.

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My observation is that there is no negative reaction evoked when people near the door leave first. However, there is a positive reaction for people who hold the door for others, especially in a spirit of chivalry. The exception to this is if the act causes the door to be blocked, in which case a negative reaction results.

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:) I have a BS degree for a reason. ;)

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More questionable is the judgment call on whether or not to re-open the doors once they've started to close. If its just me, I usually will let someone on. But, if I'm the latecomer or on with other people I feel a lot more guilty about delaying the people already on the elevator.

The worst though is the fake-out, when you're hurriedly walking up on an elevator that just started to close, and the person onboard sees you, acknowledges your interest in gettin on said elevator and makes a move toward pressing the door open button for you. Sometimes they're sincere, but sometimes you get the fake and the door just continues to shut and you hear a muffled... sorry. :P

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I just put a helpful expression on my face and press the door close button as though I'm trying to keep it open for them. If they make it, I act glad that I was able to help. If they don't make it, well, I have a faster trip to my floor.

It is a good system, and has worked well for me.

:ph34r:

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I'm always holding the door for folks no matter what because it uses less energy. For the self-absorbed and important people in a hurry who can't wait an extra 10 seconds and give me a dirty look, I smile and say "screw you asshole" in Vulcan.

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[by the way, I was joking. I hold the door, too.] :)

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