Cultural Greeting Customs in your Area

[Choirboy622]

There are many different customs of greeting in different countries around the world, ranging from people embracing each other, to kissing each other, to holding hands, to merely a handshake, depending on the country or the region within the country. In the United States, it has generally been considered that people in the South are more friendly than people in the North. In Europe, the people in the Mediterranean countries are considered to be more friendly than those in the northern countries.

In your city or region, how have you observed the following groups of people greet each other as friends? How demonstrative are they between each other when you have seen them in public?

Gay men and gay men

Straight men and gay men

Straight men and straight men

Straight women and straight men

Straight women and straight women

Gay women and straight women

Straight women and gay men

Gay women and straight men

I'm interested in seeing how different cities are, both in the States, and around the world.

[GRDadof3]

Why do all of your choices include different variations of gay men or women? I seem to find people in the entire Grand Rapids area to be very friendly and courteous, but next time I'll check to see if they are gay or straight.

[Choirboy622]

Why do all of your choices include different variations of gay men or women? I seem to find people in the entire Grand Rapids area to be very friendly and courteous, but next time I'll check to see if they are gay or straight.

Uh, if you read carefully, I think you will find that not all of the choices involve gay men.

[GRDadof3]

Uh, if you read carefully, I think you will find that not all of the choices involve gay men.

I can see that. I mentioned "gay men and women". I was just wondering why even put "gay or straight" anyone? You'd almost have to be a clinical pyschologist studying greetings of gay vs. non-gay people in different cultures to even pick up the slightest difference from one region to another, and it would take a sampling of thousands of people.

Just curious what the intent, or "baseline" greating was.

[Choirboy622]

I can see that. I mentioned "gay men and women". I was just wondering why even put "gay or straight" anyone? You'd almost have to be a clinical pyschologist studying greetings of gay vs. non-gay people in different cultures to even pick up the slightest difference from one region to another, and it would take a sampling of thousands of people.

Just curious what the intent, or "baseline" greating was.

Because gay people sometimes greet others differently than straight people in public.

[GRDadof3]

Then you should rename the thread "Gay greeting customs in your area". Are you asking whether gay people are openly affectionate in particular areas?

Because I see men and women hug when they greet, I've seen two men embrace when seeing each other, or two women kiss on the cheek, or both cheeks, women kissing women on the cheek, embracing, women giving "pecks", men hand in hand, women hand in hand. Again, I don't know if they are gay or not though.

[Choirboy622]

Then you should rename the thread "Gay greeting customs in your area". Are you asking whether gay people are openly affectionate in particular areas?

Because I see men and women hug when they greet, I've seen two men embrace when seeing each other, or two women kiss on the cheek, or both cheeks, women kissing women on the cheek, embracing, women giving "pecks", men hand in hand, women hand in hand. Again, I don't know if they are gay or not though.

That's exactly what I would like to know; in other words, all of the above...not just gay people. Cultural norms among different types of people are different in different areas. That is why I posted the question.

[PghUSA]

I don't appreciate people out there that discriminate on anything, including sexuality, but at the same time I don't think some on the left's effort to classify most aspects of life by sexuality is helpful in finding what unites us rather then what divides us.

I can understand that sexual preference is not as easily identifiable as how african americans and asians get along for example, but they may suffer under the same harmful stereotypes, so the desire to study them as easily as race is there.

I think overall it does more harm then good to make your sexual orientation a definition of social interaction. Of course at clubs and in nightlife this will be evident, but most of my social interaction is outside of these realms.

Also what of bi or bi-curious? Utah and Arizona could also come with another classification. Maybe I am wrong but I don't see the usefulness of some of my peers (in the real world) of constantly pointing out wether they think someone is gay, bi or straight. Interested in other opinions but I feel my sexual preferences shouldn't be the business of anyone but me and a few close companions.

[Choirboy622]

I think overall it does more harm then good to make your sexual orientation a definition of social interaction. Of course at clubs and in nightlife this will be evident, but most of my social interaction is outside of these realms.

Also what of bi or bi-curious? Utah and Arizona could also come with another classification. Maybe I am wrong but I don't see the usefulness of some of my peers (in the real world) of constantly pointing out wether they think someone is gay, bi or straight. Interested in other opinions but I feel my sexual preferences shouldn't be the business of anyone but me and a few close companions.

Your points are well taken. At least you didn't simply find fault with my having the guts to ask the question.

I am curious, because frequently straight guys in the States think they must put up this macho facade of hypermasculinity in order to avoid even the appearance being something other than a good ol' red-blooded all-American man. Therefore, one frequently sees the death-grip handshake, along with the back-slapping rough behavior. But guys in some locations will sometimes behave differently. Gay guys frequently behave differently than straight guys when greeting each other. Women also frequently behave differently. I would just like to see how behavior is different in various regions.

[GRDadof3]

Your points are well taken. At least you didn't simply find fault with my having the guts to ask the question.

edit: never mind.

[Snowguy716]

I would disagree that people in the north are less friendly than those in the south. At least when comparing Midwest to the south.

Minnesota's motto is "Minnesota nice" because we are very very friendly. A typical conversation between strangers at the grocery store could go something like this:

Cashier: Hi there! How ya doin' today?

Phyllis: Hello.. Oh ya, I'm doin' real good. You?

Cashier: Not too bad if I do say so myself. Nice weather, huh?

Phyllis: Oh ya, can't complain.. especially after that storm we had last week. And then the snow! Who woulda thought.. end a' May and it's snowin' like there's no tomorrow!

Cashier: Ya, that was a heckuva storm. I was out shovelin' for a good hour before I could get my car outta da driveway. Harv, my husband, couldn't even believe it.

Phyllis: Oh well.. what can ya do? 'COuld be worse!

Cashier: You betcha. This all for you today?

Phyllis: Sure is.

Cashier: Do ya need help gettin it out to yer car?

Phyllis: Nah, I think I can manage, but thank you!

Cashier: No problem. You have a real nice day now!

Phyllis: You too. Bye now.

It brings new meaning to the phrase of:

You might be a MInnesotan if you've ever had a conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number.

OR

You might be a Minnesotan if you've apologized to a telemarketer.

I would definitely consider reading the book "How to speak Minnesotan" before you come here to visit. It might help solve some pretty weird situations. For example: You must deny everything that is offered to you at least 2 or 3 times before you accept it. To accept it right away would be rude as if you were waiting for the offer.

Marge: How 'bout some dessert? I got a real nice Heavenly-Chocolate-cluster-caramel-roll-me-over bar with your name on it.

Fred: Oh, I couldn't possibly...

Marge: Oh, please, I insist.

Fred: Oh, I just don't think I could fit it in after the tasty meal you just cooked me.

Marge: But it's the last one.. I can wash up the pan if you eat it!

Fred: Well, why don't we split it.

Marge: Sounds good.

(Marge proceeds to 'split' it giving Fred the obviously larger piece. )

[Snowguy716]

Here in Austria, people tend to greet eachother formally with a handshake and by saying "Gr

[Choirboy622]

I would disagree that people in the north are less friendly than those in the south. At least when comparing Midwest to the south.

Minnesota's motto is "Minnesota nice" because we are very very friendly.

I have heard of the phrase "Minnesota Nice" but have always wondered what it exactly meant. I have been to the Twin Cities a few times, and wouldn't mind living there. I love the area. I haven't spent much time in the small towns, though.

[Choirboy622]

Here in Austria, people tend to greet eachother formally with a handshake and by saying "Gr

[runawayjim]

i don't know why it matters if people are gay, straight, male or female. i've seen 2 straight guys hug, women hug, guys shake hands, women shake hands, men hug women, men shake hands with women, etc, etc. it depends on the person, but don't make a blanket statement that straight guys try to be macho and only shake hands.

the only time i've ever seen kisses is with family, and even some straight guys kiss other straight guys on the cheeks if they're family.

[FromCityToRural]

I don't think there are even gay folks left here. I don't get the feeling that they would be terribly accepted here in churchville, although people here are otherwise extremely friendly.

[MJLO]

It all depends on the person, orientation has very little to do with it. I'm a hug person myself, I hug everyone. Some people just don't like to be touched. I would say American Society has a slight undertone of homophobia, but if you look at the social advancements of the past decades that's going away. Speaking as a gay male, I know alot of gay guys who see this imaginary line between gay and straight men. Alot of that goes back to adolescence, and more often than not ostracism that comes from being young and "different". They feel that men who are not homosexual, are not affectionate with each other. That's a slightly tainted view. I have had different experiences in life, and obviously not everything is absolute. But people greet people pretty uniformally thruout this country. Some people are naturally more personable than others, and just have a very easy time with people they don't know. Whereas others can be more shy. I think it all boils down to comfort.

However I will say that some of the best hospitality i've recieved, came while Traveling thru Tenesee. There are friendly people everywhere. Concentrations of them are by location I guess.

[runawayjim]

It all depends on the person, orientation has very little to do with it. I'm a hug person myself, I hug everyone. Some people just don't like to be touched. I would say American Society has a slight undertone of homophobia, but if you look at the social advancements of the past decades that's going away. Speaking as a gay male, I know alot of gay guys who see this imaginary line between gay and straight men. Alot of that goes back to adolescence, and more often than not ostracism that comes from being young and "different". They feel that men who are not homosexual, are not affectionate with each other. That's a slightly tainted view. I have had different experiences in life, and obviously not everything is absolute. But people greet people pretty uniformally thruout this country. Some people are naturally more personable than others, and just have a very easy time with people they don't know. Whereas others can be more shy. I think it all boils down to comfort.

However I will say that some of the best hospitality i've recieved, came while Traveling thru Tenesee. There are friendly people everywhere. Concentrations of them are by location I guess.

being straight, i have always felt like the gays i know seem to think that i'm afraid of them or not affectionate or have to be all "macho" or whatever. i'll admit, i'm not a pretty boy or anything like that, but i'm not a super tough guy either. but just because i'm not gay, i'm certainly not the stereotypical homophobic straight guy (hell, i've kissed straight guy friends on the lips just for fun).

[Choirboy622]

I think it's great when straight guys can be affectionate toward each other, even to the point of kissing on the lips, regardless of the reason or circumstances. Many straight guys in the States are too insecure about their masculinity to do much more than a handshake or a rough backslap with each other. American society does have an undercurrent of homophobia to it. However, I also see it gradually changing. It doesn't seem to be a problem for women, though. As far as the "line" between straight guys and gay or bi guys, I would say that non-heterosexuals have less of a problem with this because they are used to being "different" in the eyes of society as a whole.

[dimebag1980]

There are many different customs of greeting in different countries around the world, ranging from people embracing each other, to kissing each other, to holding hands, to merely a handshake, depending on the country or the region within the country. In the United States, it has generally been considered that people in the South are more friendly than people in the North. In Europe, the people in the Mediterranean countries are considered to be more friendly than those in the northern countries.

In your city or region, how have you observed the following groups of people greet each other as friends? How demonstrative are they between each other when you have seen them in public?

Gay men and gay men

Straight men and gay men

Straight men and straight men

Straight women and straight men

Straight women and straight women

Gay women and straight women

Straight women and gay men

Gay women and straight men

I'm interested in seeing how different cities are, both in the States, and around the world.

In my area, gay people still aren't accepted by everyone. It's inevitable, anytime you have backwoods hicks, they're not going to accept people who are different.But don't feel bad, because most of those same idiots still don't accept blacks or other cultures either. Thankfully, most of that is gone in the cities here and mostly found in the rural areas. However blacks in this area don't particularly like whites either, so it truly can go both ways.

But I will add that this topic can go well beyond gay-straight and touch on black-white, asian-white, black-hispanic, etc. There are definitely more factors when it comes to how an area treats different people, such as what race, class, sexual orientation, gender, etc.

In a perfect world, we could all get along. Of course there will be curiosity, but most people are much more willing to answer questions than to be bashed over the ways they're different from you. I just wish more people were willing to get to know others rather than prejudging based solely on looks.

[Choirboy622]

In my area, gay people still aren't accepted by everyone. It's inevitable, anytime you have backwoods hicks, they're not going to accept people who are different.But don't feel bad, because most of those same idiots still don't accept blacks or other cultures either. Thankfully, most of that is gone in the cities here and mostly found in the rural areas. However blacks in this area don't particularly like whites either, so it truly can go both ways.

But I will add that this topic can go well beyond gay-straight and touch on black-white, asian-white, black-hispanic, etc. There are definitely more factors when it comes to how an area treats different people, such as what race, class, sexual orientation, gender, etc.

In a perfect world, we could all get along. Of course there will be curiosity, but most people are much more willing to answer questions than to be bashed over the ways they're different from you. I just wish more people were willing to get to know others rather than prejudging based solely on looks.

SBCmetroguy has made some good observations here. The backwoods hicks certainly aren't limited to rural Louisiana. We have a fair share of them in the rural areas in Wisconsin, too. Although I'm not aware of any recent incidents of harrassment of gay people here, there was a well publicised incident of two volunteer firefighters harrassing an African-American gentleman who was fishing from a bridge in a rural township just west of Milwaukee. The two firefighters are awaiting trial on civil rights and hate crimes charges. Naturally the residents there accused "the liberal news media of blowing everything out of proportion", although given what is known of the community, the events likely happened exactly as the media reported the incident.

[Choirboy622]

SBCmetroguy has made some good observations here. The backwoods hicks certainly aren't limited to rural Louisiana. We have a fair share of them in the rural areas in Wisconsin, too. Although I'm not aware of any recent incidents of harrassment of gay people here, there was a well publicised incident of two volunteer firefighters harrassing an African-American gentleman who was fishing from a bridge in a rural township just west of Milwaukee. The two firefighters are awaiting trial on civil rights and hate crimes charges. Naturally the residents there accused "the liberal news media of blowing everything out of proportion", although given what is known of the community, the events likely happened exactly as the media reported the incident.