Suburbs vs. City

[sonofaque86]

I just turned 20...Lived in the city for 9 years...Basically half my life and just moved to the suburbs....I LOVED the city and I'm getting used to the suburbs...I love having a yard and a bigger house and closer to shopping areas...I loved being close to work and school though living downtown...I don't really know right now since I'm still getting used to North East Columbia which is a pure suburban model with the big yards and soccer moms and stuff. lol.

[GRDadof3]

That seems to be a common and logical sequence for young couples that then decide to have kids, but I would like to hear from others on this forum that have kids or have raised kids in urban areas and the 'burbs and see what their take is on it.

I don't have kids and that has made it easy for me to decide to live in the city (street car suburb) but it seems to me that kids can thrive in urban settings, and can just as easily get into very negative behavior/situations in the suburbs. Of course most parents wish to have the yard, the safety, and the good schools; but parks, actual crime rates as opposed to perceived crime rates, and parental involvement in education and cultural opportunities can make a city a desirable place to grow up.

I am always pleased to see kids in very urban settings seem to be so at ease and taking in all the environment around them with fervor- the interactions with the vast majority of the adult population that genuinely cares for the well-being of children helps raise confident and secure citizens, despite what some country or surburban folks may perceive as the dangerous and negatively influencing environment of a city.

And I can easily remember growing up in a rural town and the suburbs and how much trouble one can get into despite what may appear to be a bucolic and safe environment.

So parents, what are your experiences?

It may not be so much the threat of kids getting into trouble in urban settings, but REAL differences in urban school districts vs. a lot suburban districts. I grew up in a "bedroom" community and got into all kinds of trouble. I'm talking less than stellar graduation/dropout rates, high truancy rates, low test scores, teachers that are less than thrilled to be there, little parental involvement and other critical issues that seem to be plaguing inner-city schools. Sure, there are intangeables that come with an urban education, but that takes a BIG gamble, and you only get one chance to prepare your children for adulthood.

[Albaby1]

I don't have kids and that has made it easy for me to decide to live in the city (street car suburb) but it seems to me that kids can thrive in urban settings, and can just as easily get into very negative behavior/situations in the suburbs. Of course most parents wish to have the yard, the safety, and the good schools; but parks, actual crime rates as opposed to perceived crime rates, and parental involvement in education and cultural opportunities can make a city a desirable place to grow up.

Leaving aside schools for a second, you've also seen some major societal shifts that make raising kids in cities more difficult than before the flight to the suburbs. The primary one has been the dramatic increase in the number of working women and the relative decline of extended nuclear families (having an elder grandparent living at home).

Jane Jacobs rightly praised the presence of "eyes on the street" as a reason why public spaces in urban areas were safer than suburbia. But now, residential neighborhoods "depopulate" during working hours to a greater degree than before. Public recreational spaces can't be relied upon to be filled with concerned monitors, so children have to be accompanied to them. That makes parenting a little tougher.

That doesn't mean that suburbs don't have problems; but private recreational space has its attractions.

Albaby

[SouthParkRocks]

It may not be so much the threat of kids getting into trouble in urban settings, but REAL differences in urban school districts vs. a lot suburban districts. I grew up in a "bedroom" community and got into all kinds of trouble. I'm talking less than stellar graduation/dropout rates, high truancy rates, low test scores, teachers that are less than thrilled to be there, little parental involvement and other critical issues that seem to be plaguing inner-city schools. Sure, there are intangeables that come with an urban education, but that takes a BIG gamble, and you only get one chance to prepare your children for adulthood.

I figured that the school system and educational opportunities rise above just about all other factors in this. It is not so much that a school system is inherently bad as much as the support and importance (or lack thereof) placed on education by other parents in that system that will create an atmosphere of success or failure.

The added expense of living in the city is often compounded by the need to put kids in private schools to ensure their success. I can sympathize with parents who must make these choices based almost entirely on school systems.

My neighbors managed to send their four girls to a much better "suburban" –but more importantly, wealthy–public school a few miles away. So they had the best of both worlds; a diverse urban neighborhood adjacent to downtown for cultural experiences and a supportive school system with great resources to prepare them for success.

[Inkdaub]

City for me. Deep in the CBD. To me...anything outside of the downtown environs is the suburbs and pretty much stay away.

[krazeeboi]

Oh I know, when I say I hate suburbs I mean suburban areas, not places like streetcar suburbs or independent areas outside of large cities that are still urban. To be more specific, I hate automobile oriented anything.

Gotcha.

[Mikejesmike]

I picked city, but I guess it depends on the suburb. For instance I'd rather live in the Cleveland suburb of Lakewood than the Cleveland suburb of Strongsville. In New Orleans I'd rather live in East Jefferson than in St. Tammany or the westbank or St. Bernard parish.

[FromCityToRural]

Man...I'm really out on a limb here...I'm the only one who can't imagine living in a city centre!!

[Cadeho]

Man the suburbs are getting creamed! Just one vote?

[breed]

The added expense of living in the city is often compounded by the need to put kids in private schools to ensure their success. I can sympathize with parents who must make these choices based almost entirely on school systems.

That's exactly why I live in the suburbs. If we could be assured that the school we would send our kids to would be of a high quality, then I'd move there in a heartbeat. I think that a child raised in urban areas are more independent than those in the suburbs.

With that being said, we specifically chose a subdivision that was within walking distance of things like church, grocery stores, ice cream shop, etc.

[Snowguy716]

Man...I'm really out on a limb here...I'm the only one who can't imagine living in a city centre!!

Don't worry.. I'd like to live in the country!

It's my northern Minnesota blood. There's nothing like having a cabin at the lake surrounded by endless woods. Sure, the bugs are bad, but there's nothin' like hearing loons call all evening long as you sit around the fire and make S'mores and have a beer. Or taking a nice night swim... the possibilities are endless.

Although having a lake cabin 10 miles away makes living in town more convenient. You have all the amenities nearby (I live in a small town (30,000) with groceries, appliances, restaurants, parks, trails, beaches, and services all within biking distance).. and you can get in the car and 15 minutes later you're in the middle of nowhere on the lake with all the other families' lake cabins that have been in the family for 50 years.. it's a Minnesota tradition that I hope never goes away.

So, with this, I say.. neither city nor Suburb.. I like my situation.

[FromCityToRural]

Snowguy, sounds about like our location. We're about 15 minutes into town, 10 to the nearest supermarket. Although we're not on the lake, we're only about 3/4 of a mile from it as the crow flies and on a good day you can see through our trees behind our house down to the lake. Only thing we don't have is good public access to the lake, but since we don't have a boat anyway, I guess it doesn't really matter! I love being out here in the country. No pesky neighbors to complain all the time, room to play with our toys...it's amazing more people don't choose to live like this if they have the option (Thank god! there wouldn't be enough room!).

How much land do you have around the lake house?

[Snowguy716]

Shhhhh! Don't give it away!

Not a whole lot.. around 5 acres total, but it's wedged between two lakes on a peninsula, and most of it is thick woods. We only use a small portion for the yard and we leave a wide buffer near the lake, except where we have our little swimming/access area. We drop the boat in about 1/4 mile up the trail at the public access and just leave hte boat at the cabin.

I think my favorite feature of the whole thing is the 200+ year old Norway pine tree hovering over the lake and cabin. I figured... when that thing goes I might as well sell the place and move on.

[Cadeho]

Oh, you guys have nothing to worry about! I like driving in the country and maybe have a getaway there... but I'd feel so alone with so much space bwteeen me and a neighbor.

[Snowguy716]

I can see the neighbors and walk to them in about 45 seconds. We all get together and have BBQs and stuff and do fireworks together at the 4th of July... It's a community. Sure, it's 15 minutes to any meaningful shopping, but that's the nice thing about it

[Recchia]

I'm beginning to be able to see myself in a small town in the middle of nowhere. Some place that I can still walk to everything but it's far away from any suburb or major urban area. For now I'm stickin to the city though, I like blending in, having tons of people all around me and knowing that if I suddenly couldn't afford a car, I could still get by.

[Cadeho]

Oh.. well you know it's 15 minutes plus to any meaningful shopping in the city with everything way out on the other side of town's suburbs.

But I just have the feeling that if I lived in the country... and something happened, no one would know. It's like... The Country, where no one can hear you scream.

[SouthParkRocks]

Shhhhh! Don't give it away!

Not a whole lot.. around 5 acres total, but it's wedged between two lakes on a peninsula, and most of it is thick woods. We only use a small portion for the yard and we leave a wide buffer near the lake, except where we have our little swimming/access area. We drop the boat in about 1/4 mile up the trail at the public access and just leave hte boat at the cabin.

I think my favorite feature of the whole thing is the 200+ year old Norway pine tree hovering over the lake and cabin. I figured... when that thing goes I might as well sell the place and move on.

That place sounds great to me. I'm packing my fishing pole and shorts and coming by for a summer visit

I'm all about either being in the city (or a bustling village/town) or out in the country by a lake. And with a place like yours you are probably fighting off folks like me who are rudely inviting themselves for a visit so undoubtedly you are not a lonely hermit.

[verge]

That seems to be a common and logical sequence for young couples that then decide to have kids, but I would like to hear from others on this forum that have kids or have raised kids in urban areas and the 'burbs and see what their take is on it.

I don't have kids and that has made it easy for me to decide to live in the city (street car suburb) but it seems to me that kids can thrive in urban settings, and can just as easily get into very negative behavior/situations in the suburbs. Of course most parents wish to have the yard, the safety, and the good schools; but parks, actual crime rates as opposed to perceived crime rates, and parental involvement in education and cultural opportunities can make a city a desirable place to grow up.

I am always pleased to see kids in very urban settings seem to be so at ease and taking in all the environment around them with fervor- the interactions with the vast majority of the adult population that genuinely cares for the well-being of children helps raise confident and secure citizens, despite what some country or surburban folks may perceive as the dangerous and negatively influencing environment of a city.

And I can easily remember growing up in a rural town and the suburbs and how much trouble one can get into despite what may appear to be a bucolic and safe environment.

So parents, what are your experiences?

I live 2 miles from the core of a major (if sunbelt) city... My neighborhood, once almost entirely devoid of kids, has plenty now--- and decent public schools to boot (at least in this part of the city)... More and more folks seem to be making the city their choice with or without kids...

[urbanvb]

I voted for the city. I grew up in a very rural area but experiencing city life as an adult has changed the way I feel about it. In saying that though I think living within walking distance to restaurants, shops, etc is really what I am after. Some inner ring cities can provide that as well.

[FromCityToRural]

I can see the neighbors and walk to them in about 45 seconds. We all get together and have BBQs and stuff and do fireworks together at the 4th of July... It's a community. Sure, it's 15 minutes to any meaningful shopping, but that's the nice thing about it

Exactly...that's how it is here too. We've never been physically so far away from our neighbors, but know them much better already than we've ever known our neighbors back when we lived in town. It's kind of neat.

5 acres is a nice little piece of land...enjoy it...we do! Your place sounds pretty awesome.

[SkyDave]

When I was younger I loved the urban lifestyle. Now that I am nearing retirement, I now love my peaceful, quiet, 3 acre homestead away from it all. Whenever I need to go to the city to connect, I do it but I'm always glad to be back on the old homestead.

[NcSc74]

I grew up in a high density setting on Fort Bragg so I am used to having people close by. We had a yard but it wasn't that big. My dad only used it to grill or entertain. There was park in the neighborhood when we want more space. That is the life I want for my kids. Nothing against rural or suburban living I just like the interaction you get with a more urban setting.

[runawayjim]

i grew up in the suburbs of new haven, CT. it was about as suburban as you could get with some smaller walkable areas in the town (although my neighborhood was very suburban).

i spent my college years in rural storrs, CT and i've been in providence for 2.5 years now. i love it here and would love to live int he city for a bit. right now, i live in one of hte outer, more suburban neighborhoods which is walkable to a few things, but others i need to take the bus or drive (i usually drive). i will probably move to the suburbs when it's time to buy a house (which should be about a year or so after i get married, which is in 2 years) because by then, i'll be thinking about having kids. however, i plan on trying to buy near a walkable community wherever i might move (i'm currently thinking east providence, but i guess it depends on where i can find something that both me and the fiancee like and can afford). my fiancee wants a yard and possibly a pool. i want to live in a fairly walkable community, and i'd liek to live near some water.

the country boy in me (and i've never really been a country boy) would like to live in the middle of nowhere... like the mountains of vermont or NH. so i'm thinking (and this will take some money) that i might buy a condo or home in vermont or new hampshire near both a lake and ski resort (i want the skiing, she wants the lake).

[MadVlad]

Though I currently live in the burbs, with a different set of luck I'd be right smack in downtown Hartford....