Charlotte Pride

[dubone]

While it doesn't pertain to Charlotte, I figured I'd post this here, since I don't know people in the other cities, and I figured it would be good to spread a little thanksgiving cheer to my Charlotte brethren.

This is a snippet from an email from my 85 year old grandmother. Her boyfriend (Harold)'s son, Mike, came out a few months ago.

SINCE HIS WIFE HAS PASSED MIKE HAS COME TO GRIPS WITH LETTING HIS PREFERRED LIFESTYLE BE KNOWN. HAROLD HAD A BIT OF TROUBLE TIL I LAID DOWN THE LAW. MIKE IS THE SAME KIND LOVING PERSON

TODAY HE WAS YESTERDAY. ALTHOUGH HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND IT ALL HAROLD HAS ACCEPTED IT AND WE BOTH LOVE MIKE'S PARTNER. CERTAINLY WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE.

Forgive the all caps, she is arthritic and doesn't seem to care about proper caps, and it is hard to explain to her that it comes across as yelling. It is also hard to break it to her that Republicans aren't quite as tolerant any more.

I thought with all the negativity that is out in the world, that you guys saw that there is positivity out there too in time for the holidays.

[monsoon]

Thanks for sharing and I think it is great her attitude on the situation.

[Mobuchu]

It's interesting to me as a relatively new charlottean to see how this city has seemed to go backwards in regards to gay visibility. I have read with great interest about the past bars and bookstores located throughout Charlotte. I know gentrification of the city neighborhoods contributed a lot to their decline. Still it seems counterintuitive and a little depressing that in this era's more accepting social mores our city is almost back at square one in creating more gay gathering spots when there used to be many scattered citywide.

Is that what the gay population wants though? It seems to me that bars around town are very accepting of gay couples. They are not gay bars or straight bars, they are just bars... Having the gay population segregated from everyone else seems counterproductive. Places like Petra's in PM seem to promote mixing the straight and gay population which I think is great.

Although as I type this, I started thinking that dating is probably much easier for gays when they bar is gay only, making it easier to approach someone. Maybe this is what you meant is needed.

[monsoon]

...

Although as I type this, I started thinking that dating is probably much easier for gays when they bar is gay only, making it easier to approach someone. Maybe this is what you meant is needed.

Yes that is one of the reasons. It's one of the few places you can approach someone of the same sex and not have to worry much about the response even if they are straight. It's much more risky in "mixed" environments. The other reason is it is a place to completely escape the bounds, restrictions, morals and traditions of the straight world. You can completely be yourself in a Gay bar. For many, access to that is very important.

[elvigy]

You can completely be yourself in a Gay bar. For many, access to that is very important.

Totally agree. It's very, very important. I don't even go out that much anymore, but it's nice to go to a place that I have absolutely no qualms about holding my partner's hand without having to endure the gawking that goes on even in relatively "mixed" clubs.

[PlazaMidwoodGuy]

While it certainly does seem there are fewer exclusively gay venues (bars. bookstores, etc.) in Charlotte now than there used to be, is that necessarily a local phenomenon or is it happening in cities all over the country? I don't know the answer to the question, but I ask it due to the fact that socializing (gay and straight alike) has changed quite a bit in the last decade or so. Maybe part of it is due to bars becoming more "mixed" as straight people (most of them, anyway) become more tolerant and less homophobic, so gays and lesbians don't feel they only have the option of socializing in bars that are strictly gay. In addition, I think the Internet has had a profound effect on the way people of all sexual orientations go about socializing. So maybe going to bars has become less about finding new friends (for whatever purpose) and more about being a place to just go have fun with the social circle you already have - and you don't necessarily have to be in a 100% gay (or straight) place to do that. Obviously, that's not always the case and I'm generalizing a bit, but the point is that socializing has changed a lot over the last few years, especially in the younger age groups.

And in Charlotte, I think that bars used to be about THE only place you could safely meet other gay people. But that's really not the case anymore, so maybe that makes our local gay/lesbian community feel less of a need to go out clubbing in order to make friends and acquaintances. Thoughts?

[voyager12]

It's always interesting to debate whether advocating for more visible gay bars is the way to go as opposed to trying to assimilate. There is room for both and I agree that there are a few "straight" bars in Charlotte that are quite gay friendly. The majority are not though and it's definitely not pleasant to get hostile stares from some straight patrons that don't appreciate gay people at their good ole watering hole. So gay bars where one can feel safe and real gay bookstores as opposed to just sex toy and magazine outlets are needed I think. I would love for there to be more non-alcoholic gathering places for gays to meet each other. Besides Caribou on East I can't think of too many that are not tied to partying.

[appatone]

Is Charlotte's lack of a gay bookstore symptomatic of its views on homosexuality or is it simply symptomatic of a 2007 culture that increasingly relies on large national chains. Every Borders and Barnes and Noble in town has a GBLT section. Charlotte only has a handful of independent bookstores as it is, Park Rd. Books, The Bookmark, Real Eyes, Paper Skyscraper, and White Rabbit. These are the only ones selling new books that I can think of in the entire city. One of them is solely a GLBT store and the other has a large portion of its offerings dedicated to gay interests. The Gay community seems to have a fair showing in our cities currently pathetic excuse for independent book retailers. So perhaps the problem isn't homophobia but homogenization.

[Charlotte_native]

I personally see the visibility of Gay oriented stores, bars, and restaurants as more an effect (as mentioned above) of the era we are in. The younger people I know don't see a big difference between gay and straight as many of us once did -- no more than mixed or interracial relationships. For that reason I think they socialize together rather than separately.

As for gay-friendly bars or restaurants, I would actually say there are dozens and dozens of them in town. I can't speak for neighborhoods much more than a mile or two from center city, but with myself and everyone I know are quite open, hide nothing, and if I do get stares from others I've honestly never noticed other than perhaps once or twice. Almost every bar or restaurant I've been in downtown, in Dilworth, NoDa, Plaza-Midwood, etc I've seen other gays and not seen any concern by others in the place at all. It isn't me being optimistic or glossing it over -- it just is. I know that the people I've grown up with in Charlotte and those I've met in recent years are a complete mix of people who really don't pay much attention to orientation.

Edited November 26, 2007 by Charlotte_native

[Charlotte_native]

It's always interesting to debate whether advocating for more visible gay bars is the way to go as opposed to trying to assimilate.

This isn't intended to be personal or come across as anything other than saying how I see myself:

I am a white male 39 year old native Charlottean that happens to be gay. Moving in and out of our society here in Charlotte isn't me trying to assimilate, it is me being me and going to places I enjoy. I am just like everyone else and I happen to be in a wonderful monogomous long-term relationship with a guy. I don't see myself as gay first and everything else second - -they all line up right in a row with no heirarchy. I personally feel like big gay neighborhoods, though quite happy with them for those that want them, are a form of self segregation. I don't feel a personal need for that. Not out of wanting to fit in or anything like it, I just don't see the need.

I like sports. I like sports bars. I like live music. Gay bars don't tend to provide any of that. On the occation that I do go clubbing I like to go with ALL my friends, straight and gay alike -- at times we choose a gay bar, other times a straight club, other times somewhere known to be mixed. I really depends on the group mood. Interestingly one of my favorite gay clubs, if we do go, is Myxx on Tryon -- gay AND black!

Hom that opened recently downtown has become a new favorite -- it is VERY mixed, gay owned, and quite open. I am glad to get that option down here, but again, it isn't a gay club but a mixed one.

[voyager12]

Being gay is not my only defining characteristic either. My being very interested in gay politics and struggle does not equate to dislike of the mainstream. It's also true that "gayborhoods" from Midtown Atlanta to The Castro are being gentrified and "degayed" for lack of a better word. This does not mean we should not press onward. Our lack of equal rights and blatant discrimination is the reality in Charlotte and across the country. To combat this I favor gay visibility through whatever form of expression one is comfortable with. I love the vibe I get in Outwrite in Atlanta and Outspoken in Asheville. I don't think wanting similar literary gay businesses in Charlotte that could serve as hubs and incubators for positive change makes me against heteros. I have straight friends as well.

Edited November 26, 2007 by voyager12

[Charlotte_native]

Being gay is not my only defining characteristic either. My being very interested in gay politics and struggle does not equate to dislike of the mainstream. It's also true that "gayborhoods" from Midtown Atlanta to The Castro are being gentrified and "degayed" for lack of a better word. This does not mean we should not press onward. Our lack of equal rights and blatant discrimination is the reality in Charlotte and across the country. To combat this I favor gay visibility through whatever form of expression one is comfortable with. I love the vibe I get in Outwrite in Atlanta and Outspoken in Asheville. I don't think wanting similar literary gay businesses in Charlotte that could serve as hubs and incubators for positive change makes me against heteros. I have straight friends as well.

Please don't take anything as personal -- nothing I wrote was intended as such.

I'm all for the struggle too and demand that I have the same rights as everyone else. I work with HRC on many levels as my part. I think we have two differing views about how to do this, both of which further our desires. For myself, I feel that my life that doesn't appear very different from the life of someone who isn't gay might change the attitude of someone that wants to see us as extremely different. We aren't. Perhaps they will come to accept we are all basically the same and have the same basic needs. When it comes to housing, job security, friends, family, etc, there is no difference, when it comes to love the only difference is who I choose as opposed to whom others think I should choose.

I believe there is a place for the big marches for equality as much as the silent and slow acceptance that takes place by showing we have as much right to be here as anyone else and live our lives much as anyone else would. Both are needed. Groups like Myers Park Baptist taking a public stand beside us are necessary.

As for having a gay bookstore or other gay businesses or venues that aren't party oriented, I truly wish they existed. One of the stereotypes I'd like to see dismantled is that all gays are sex-hungry party animals. Not that I care if that is what someone wants in their life, but by far most of us don't - we just aren't as visible.

My earlier point should have also included some basic market facts. Why aren't there more gay oriented businesses here? If there were a demand for them there would be. There is no ordinance, law, or other barrier in the way of them. All you do is apply for a permit and open up. It does take money and money is needed in return to remain operating. It would seem that the demand isn't there from our gay community for whatever reason. Is that bad? Who knows...maybe it is just because people don't see the need or get what they need from any business no matter the orientation of the ownership or marketing and branding of the business. I feel quite strongly that it isn't because our community feels the need to be hidden or is scared to make the jump. It is strictly a business decision. I know countless gay folks in business that are very open about who they are and receive no push-back from the business community. I also know of many gay owned businesses -- they just don't cater to exclusively gay clientele...they have open doors to everyone. Just to name a short few: Paper Skyscraper, Canvas Monkey, City Supply Company, Hom (Live/Play/Feast), Lotus, Therapy, Smelly Cat (I think, not sure), Custom Shoppe, Carpe Diem (one owner), seemingly half of our real estate companies that work in center city -- at least half the agents. I'm sure there are numerous others, I just can't think of more.

[voyager12]

The lack of demand may not entirely be from fear of homophobic reaction. Compared to Atlanta the gay community here is very small and may not be able to support full service bookstores and restaurants. Perhaps in the future we will reach a critical mass. I just don't see being in favor of more gay branded stores as being segregationist or insular. Appreciating and accepting differences is what makes this country great. If minorities did not take pride and show pride in themselves we would not have Chinatowns or Little Italy's in major cities across the country. Having a mixture of people living together is also great. Predominantly gay neighborhoods may be slowly fading away but I don't agree that they are a negative.

[Charlotte_native]

Predominantly gay neighborhoods may be slowly fading away but I don't agree that they are a negative.

I never said they were a negative. My only point was if there was a demand it would happen. I think, or at least tried to make it clear, that I don't see it as negative or positive, just as a fact of IS. No one is holding us back from our own stores or neighborhood. Maybe it is just the gay friends and family I have, but no one has ever complained about not having our own neighborhood and no one is in the closet.

Chinatowns and Little Italy's also were created years ago in most cities as a result of the communities they were in discriminating against them and abusing them as the newcomers in town -- they lived together for safety, comfort, and to retain their culture. Same reason many older cities have large gay communities, they were formed quite a few years ago when being in the closet was a must and being around each other was not only social, but necessary. Most new cities do not have these (China Towns, Little Italy's) as discrimination against many of these groups is long gone (now reserved and thrown at Hispanics). Note the large Hispanic neighborhoods up and down Central Avenue and South Boulevard, out Albemarle Road, and around Eastland Mall. Parts of these areas have stores and businesses with NO English signs or labels. Currently they feel a need to live with and around each other.

I personally believe there is less of a self-segregationist attitude among the gay community here because 1) we are a fairly new city, at least in terms of our current size, 2) society, though not perfect and still a long way to go, does not discriminate or abuse us like they once did, and 3) there isn't a current need for our own neighborhood in the eyes of many -- not saying there might not be a desire among many, just not the need for the reasons above. The difference between desire and need is pretty far apart.

I believe if we still NEEDED to congregate and live together for safety and comfort, we certainly would. As it is, I feel quite free in Charlotte being myself and everyone else I know does as well. Do I think we need to fix some things like same-sex domestic benefits, sure thing I do, but it is different than being afraid to walk the streets for fear of being beaten up for being gay. Many of my older gay friends tell me horrific stories of being in fear and actual danger, and they also tell me from their eyes those days are pretty much over. Still can't get married, it will change, just like interracial marriage issues did. It just takes time and that is frustrating.

As for having a gay bookstore or other gay businesses or venues that aren't party oriented, I truly wish they existed.

Please don't miss these statements, I mean them, I just see myself as a realist and if demand isn't there or enough people don't want something, it won't come. That isn't special with our community but with any group.

Edited November 29, 2007 by Charlotte_native

[voyager12]

In the three years I have lived here the supportive comments I get from motorists regarding my gay pride stickers come from straight people. Aside from gay friends of mine most others I have encountered or heard about laugh or roll their eyes and look at me with derision. But I think what I do sets a good example and makes a difference so I am not changing. I am not a people person, too introverted but that's a work in progress. It's also why I spend almost every day with dogs, they don't judge people on who or what they are. And I don't have a lot of money so I don't work much with HRC. I have always thought that one person can make a difference being an activist on their own. So I do what I am comfortable with. Write letters to the editor, contact local elected officials and communicate one on one. As Charlotte Native said different methods working together for gay rights can be helpful and generate more progress.

Anyhow,

I checked out The White Rabbit's new home today. On the plus side I like that it fronts the sidewalk and there is decent parking space available on the side. The atmosphere is cozier and much brighter. I was hoping they would increase their sticker collection, no dice. On the down side there is only one small window available and I think a hanging flag, books or Christmas display would have been classier than a thong undwear dummy front and center. There are two small storefronts for lease directly across from the store and hopefully they will fill up soon and we can get some street life on that stretch.

Edited November 29, 2007 by voyager12

[DCMetroRaleigh]

Totally agree. It's very, very important. I don't even go out that much anymore, but it's nice to go to a place that I have absolutely no qualms about holding my partner's hand without having to endure the gawking that goes on even in relatively "mixed" clubs.

I love mixed clubs, but one of the tests of whether a place truly deserves a "mixed" designation is how do people react to over same-sex affection like hand-holding and dancing together. If people gawk or act ignorant when they see same-sex couples doing the same things opposite sex couples are doing, it is not truly mixed.

[DCMetroRaleigh]

"Note the large Hispanic neighborhoods up and down Central Avenue and South Boulevard, out Albemarle Road, and around Eastland Mall. Parts of these areas have stores and businesses with NO English signs or labels."

Are you serious about NO ENGLISH signs?

[VistaLakes01]

While it certainly does seem there are fewer exclusively gay venues (bars. bookstores, etc.) in Charlotte now than there used to be, is that necessarily a local phenomenon or is it happening in cities all over the country? I don't know the answer to the question, but I ask it due to the fact that socializing (gay and straight alike) has changed quite a bit in the last decade or so. Maybe part of it is due to bars becoming more "mixed" as straight people (most of them, anyway) become more tolerant and less homophobic, so gays and lesbians don't feel they only have the option of socializing in bars that are strictly gay. In addition, I think the Internet has had a profound effect on the way people of all sexual orientations go about socializing. So maybe going to bars has become less about finding new friends (for whatever purpose) and more about being a place to just go have fun with the social circle you already have - and you don't necessarily have to be in a 100% gay (or straight) place to do that. Obviously, that's not always the case and I'm generalizing a bit, but the point is that socializing has changed a lot over the last few years, especially in the younger age groups.

And in Charlotte, I think that bars used to be about THE only place you could safely meet other gay people. But that's really not the case anymore, so maybe that makes our local gay/lesbian community feel less of a need to go out clubbing in order to make friends and acquaintances. Thoughts?

There was an article in the Orlando Sentinel a couple of years ago talking about what was termed "Post-Gay Cities." of course it was pertaining to Orlando being one one of them and although I don't remember the entire list it seemed to be mainly the "new" cities such as Orlando and Charlotte. I remember Phoenix as being on the list, not sure if Charlotte was or not but the point of the article was there was not much of a need for the gay communities to create "Gayborhoods" or "Gay Ghettos" and these cities have very large gay populations but they are spread out throughout the metropolitan area. The main point I believe was diversity and acceptance and even in the suburbs some of your neighbors are going to be gay and everyone seems ok with that. Almost everyone here are newcomers and they aren't really concerned about those issues and everyone just gets along and lives their own lives. Our trendy downtown neighborhoods such as Thornton Park, Eola Heights, Colonialtown, College Park are very mixed and it seems that the straight people know there is a larger gay population in the downtown neighborhoods and that is one of the "city-like" or "urbanlife" things that attracts them. As far as bars and clubs go, the "Ultra Lounge" martini bar scene hit the city big time a few years ago and the bars became more fashion oriented and clean and chic and very mixed. I think they became very mixed because most are located in the city and everyone is used to the mixed crowd in the city neighborhoods. We still have a few gay bars and clubs around town, the crowds just aren't as trendy. But almost every new "gay-friendly"club or bar as they are called now opens, They are a lot cleaner and less sleazy than in the past. And they all have to have the ultralounge which is given a name such as "Hydrate,Glo,Blue,etc." They all have an entertainment area for different types of shows and have the names of those rooms are called "Majestic Theater, Adonis Room,etc. and then they have the cool high tech dance room with names like "The Jewel Box,Revolution,Rythym and Flow, etc. And it seems straight people have no problem checking the places out. They don't have black walls and cheap carpeting and smell like poppers. I'm 44 years old and I prefer these cleaner mixed clientle clubs and my straight friends seem to enjoy the go-go boys dancing on the bar and the stripper show, or drag show, or eclectic show. And in Orlando we always have the Parliament House Resort which I'm sure some of you have been to, which has the very cruisy balconies and hotel rooms, the totally gay disco, piano bar and show bar. The best thing the city/state has done is to make these places smoke free except on the patios so no matter where you go you don't come home smelling like an ashtray. Wow, I've rattled on. What I really wanted to ask is what are the hot bars in Charlotte and what are they like? I'd like to check out their web sites and when I go up to the mountains in the summer spend some time hanging out in Charlotte now that it has become such a big city. Orlando and Tampa both amaze me how much they've changed in the past few years with the bustling, trendy city neighborhoods with the hip restaurants, lofts, lounges, and mixed variety of trendy people. It's like it happened almost overnight. Check out the websites for Pulse Nightclub Orlando, Revolution Orlando,23 Orlando and Dolce Orlando to name a few and give me some good Charlotte nightlife websites please. Thanks!

[Charlotte_native]

In the three years I have lived here the supportive comments I get from motorists regarding my gay pride stickers come from straight people. Aside from gay friends of mine most others I have encountered or heard about laugh or roll their eyes and look at me with derision.

Now Mr. Voyager could it be the pride sticker itself or the cumulative sticker(S) on your car!!

I really agree with you completely. Coming from different angles like we both do, I believe, is necessary. There is no single path to finally being seen as equals by society at large.

Are you serious about NO ENGLISH signs?

Oops! Let me re-phrase! Signs without English only in Spanish! My bad...

[Charlotte_native]

What I really wanted to ask is what are the hot bars in Charlotte and what are they like? I'd like to check out their web sites and when I go up to the mountains in the summer spend some time hanging out in Charlotte now that it has become such a big city.

I don't know their websites, but all of these I consider mixed or very gay friendly places and a Google search would probably bring up plenty about them.

Southend: Tutto Mundo, 300 East restaurant, Phat Burrito, Cantina 1511 restaurant, Caribou Coffee and Starbucks in Dilworth.

Center City: Therapy martini bar, Hom club comlex with Liv and Play, Arpa, lots of trendy restaurants all over -- great ones and all I've been to other than the ultra-straight taverns or meat-markets are quite accepting of us. Sonoma, Blue, Zinc, Bentleys, Ruth's Chris are all places you could go and you can be quite out and affectionate if you wish (really everything in this post would fit this description). I don't necessarily mean making out at the bar (which is too much to me from any type of couple) but holding hands, kisses, or anything that would be acceptable or normal from a straight couple.

All of NoDa fits the bill.

Elizabeth: Carpe Diem, Loft 1523, Customshop, Jack's, Philosophers Stone, La-tea-da's

Plaza/Central: Thomas Street Tavern, Snug Harbor, Penguin -- also a new gay bar (piano bar) Petra

I know I'm missing some if anyone else wants to chime in.

[elvigy]

Yeah, I've seen stores with signs written only in Spanish. No biggie to me though I imagine someone is going to get their undergarments all in a wad over it.

But on the subject of gays, where they live and where they socialize, I'd like to point out that the two issues are different. I also live in the suburbs and haven't had any problems at all with it, despite the fact that I'm sure some (or all) of my neighbors have put 2 and 2 together with only me and my partner coming and going all the time. But going out, we prefer gay or gay-oriented bars/clubs.

Socially, I think people tend to self-segregate. With exceptions, and there are always exceptions, blacks will mostly socialize with other blacks, gays with other gays, etc. That's why you end up with mostly black clubs or mostly gay clubs, and mostly black churches and mostly white churches. It's a comfort zone. Whether that's a good or bad thing I'm not qualified to say. Obviously this self-segregation doesn't apply to work related outings or such.

But that doesn't mean I would want my life to be 24 hour gayness non-stop. So even though I go to gay clubs more than mixed or straight clubs, I would not be willing to move to a gayborhood. On a personal level, I just have a need to feel like being gay is not the defining characteristic of my life.

All of which is my long way around of saying that it's great that people can live and work together with relative ease, but I still think gay-oriented bars and clubs are beneficial and will never go away, just as there are still black clubs decades after civil rights laws were enacted.

[voyager12]

Regarding my car, that very well could be, Charlotte Native. I have observed different reactions from straight bargoers at Takeover Friday's I have attended. Many don't seem bothered by it but there have been several instances of people making quite hasty exits after a few double takes. Which always strikes me as funny. I guess they are afraid they will catch "gay" I think we all agree there are no predominantly gay neighborhoods in Charlotte. But like most cities the more gentrified neighborhoods tend to attract a wide range of diverse groups including gays. I can see the argument that a gay friendly neighborhood is equal to or better than a gay neighborhood because it's speaks to the acceptance of the majority of straight residents. Broadly speaking almost every area is a gay neighborhood regardless of socioeconomic or ethnic status since we are everywhere. I do have different comfort levels in various parts of our region. I grow eyes in the back of my head whenever I have to go to Concord which is not too often or Gastonia or Matthews. Not that those towns are full of phobes but they do have several very hardline fundamentalist churches that draw from area residents. It's tough being openly gay anywhere in America even today and you need a double thick skin in the South in particular.

Edited November 30, 2007 by voyager12

[VistaLakes01]

I don't know their websites, but all of these I consider mixed or very gay friendly places and a Google search would probably bring up plenty about them.

Southend: Tutto Mundo, 300 East restaurant, Phat Burrito, Cantina 1511 restaurant, Caribou Coffee and Starbucks in Dilworth.

Center City: Therapy martini bar, Hom club comlex with Liv and Play, Arpa, lots of trendy restaurants all over -- great ones and all I've been to other than the ultra-straight taverns or meat-markets are quite accepting of us. Sonoma, Blue, Zinc, Bentleys, Ruth's Chris are all places you could go and you can be quite out and affectionate if you wish (really everything in this post would fit this description). I don't necessarily mean making out at the bar (which is too much to me from any type of couple) but holding hands, kisses, or anything that would be acceptable or normal from a straight couple.

All of NoDa fits the bill.

Elizabeth: Carpe Diem, Loft 1523, Customshop, Jack's, Philosophers Stone, La-tea-da's

Plaza/Central: Thomas Street Tavern, Snug Harbor, Penguin -- also a new gay bar (piano bar) Petra

I know I'm missing some if anyone else wants to chime in.

Thanks for the info, i'm finding some of the websites and they seem pretty cool. My partner (He's from Puerto Rico) has been begging me for us to move to Charlotte and I don't want to go unless it is similar to Orlando in nightlife, shopping, openess with the gay issue, etc. I'm not a queen, people are always shocked when they find out I'm gay. I'm out at work and that turned out to be no big deal, I don't know if this is an appropriate statement or not but when I've know or befriended people for awhile and they find out they suddenly have more respect for homosexuality because "one of them or a regular guy" is gay. I work for Charles Schwab and their HQ is in San Fran so they have been very liberal for sometime now and have offered health benefits for domestic partners for about 16 years now. Also Orlando and Orange County both have added sexual orientation to their discrimination laws and any business with over 6 employees that offer health benefits are required to offer domestic partner benefits. Also a large amount of churches in the area have become gay-friendly (probably want the $$$). Even our huge Baptist super church would not participate in the Southern Baptist boycott of Disney (which has been dropped.) I used to attend our MCC church here but now go to the Universal Unitarian church, and membership at the MCC church has been dropping as the GLBT community have been attending different churches and this year we didn't have any protesters at our Pride so the church thing is another concern of mine. I know NC is the heart of the Bible Belt so that kind of scares me. Do you think Charlotte is similar in that aspect? Also I've told my partner that their may be an issue with the Puerto Rican thing and he might be categorized as a "Mexican" and he won't feel the same openess with the Latino thing because here you can go anywhere and strike up a conversation with other Latinos, such as shopping anywhere from the gas station to Bloomingdales employees or at work. Orlando extremely caters to the Latino community, in 2006 Orlando was 36% Hispanic and that doesn't include illegals. One of the metro counties (Kissimmee, Osceola County) is 51% Hispanic. What do you honestly think about this issue in Charlotte? I know you have a "section" of town that is heavily Hispanic but we don't. They are pretty much integrated with the general population.

[Charlotte_native]

Thanks for the info, i'm finding some of the websites and they seem pretty cool. My partner (He's from Puerto Rico) has been begging me for us to move to Charlotte and I don't want to go unless it is similar to Orlando in nightlife, shopping, openess with the gay issue, etc. I'm not a queen, people are always shocked when they find out I'm gay. I'm out at work and that turned out to be no big deal, I don't know if this is an appropriate statement or not but when I've know or befriended people for awhile and they find out they suddenly have more respect for homosexuality because "one of them or a regular guy" is gay. I work for Charles Schwab and their HQ is in San Fran so they have been very liberal for sometime now and have offered health benefits for domestic partners for about 16 years now. Also Orlando and Orange County both have added sexual orientation to their discrimination laws and any business with over 6 employees that offer health benefits are required to offer domestic partner benefits. Also a large amount of churches in the area have become gay-friendly (probably want the $$$). Even our huge Baptist super church would not participate in the Southern Baptist boycott of Disney (which has been dropped.) I used to attend our MCC church here but now go to the Universal Unitarian church, and membership at the MCC church has been dropping as the GLBT community have been attending different churches and this year we didn't have any protesters at our Pride so the church thing is another concern of mine. I know NC is the heart of the Bible Belt so that kind of scares me. Do you think Charlotte is similar in that aspect? Also I've told my partner that their may be an issue with the Puerto Rican thing and he might be categorized as a "Mexican" and he won't feel the same openess with the Latino thing because here you can go anywhere and strike up a conversation with other Latinos, such as shopping anywhere from the gas station to Bloomingdales employees or at work. Orlando extremely caters to the Latino community, in 2006 Orlando was 36% Hispanic and that doesn't include illegals. One of the metro counties (Kissimmee, Osceola County) is 51% Hispanic. What do you honestly think about this issue in Charlotte? I know you have a "section" of town that is heavily Hispanic but we don't. They are pretty much integrated with the general population.

My personal opinion on all counts is you will be fine in Charlotte both with being gay and with your partner being Puerto Rican. I'm sure there is some discrimination against Hispanics right now -- the tone of the times seems to be equating being Hispanic with being illegal across the board. That being said, we have a very large Hispanic population, many parts of town that are almost exclusively Latino, and a number of bars and restaurants that have latin oriented nights. One of the restaurants/bars I forgot for my list is Cosmos. It is downtown -- Thursday is Salsa night -- great night to see the Hispanic community decked in their best dancing up a storm! There is also a restaurant called LaTorre's downtown that is owned by a prominent Hispanic local businessman and attorney Stephan LaTorre.

I don't think I'd take the step and say Charlotte's gay scene is comparable to Orlando's. It might be but I don't know enough about Orlando to say. We do have a plethora these days of Churches that have become gay friendly, read through this thread about neighborhoods and some of our differing opinions about gay life here in town. For me, Charlotte is a very open and accepting place. I've never experienced any problems. The city hasn't given domestic partner benefits and some other institutional barriers are still in place, but I honestly don't believe it translates to the population or the actual feel of the city or our living environment.

Charlotte is so populated by newcomers (running joke: what do you call a person living in Charlotte? A transplant) that I find it a pretty open and accepting place for all types of different folks from ethnic background, origin within the US, and lifestyle differences. Of course there are still bigots around, there are everywhere, but they are far outnumbered and pretty powerless.

[VistaLakes01]

My personal opinion on all counts is you will be fine in Charlotte both with being gay and with your partner being Puerto Rican. I'm sure there is some discrimination against Hispanics right now -- the tone of the times seems to be equating being Hispanic with being illegal across the board. That being said, we have a very large Hispanic population, many parts of town that are almost exclusively Latino, and a number of bars and restaurants that have latin oriented nights. One of the restaurants/bars I forgot for my list is Cosmos. It is downtown -- Thursday is Salsa night -- great night to see the Hispanic community decked in their best dancing up a storm! There is also a restaurant called LaTorre's downtown that is owned by a prominent Hispanic local businessman and attorney Stephan LaTorre.

I don't think I'd take the step and say Charlotte's gay scene is comparable to Orlando's. It might be but I don't know enough about Orlando to say. We do have a plethora these days of Churches that have become gay friendly, read through this thread about neighborhoods and some of our differing opinions about gay life here in town. For me, Charlotte is a very open and accepting place. I've never experienced any problems. The city hasn't given domestic partner benefits and some other institutional barriers are still in place, but I honestly don't believe it translates to the population or the actual feel of the city or our living environment.

Charlotte is so populated by newcomers (running joke: what do you call a person living in Charlotte? A transplant) that I find it a pretty open and accepting place for all types of different folks from ethnic background, origin within the US, and lifestyle differences. Of course there are still bigots around, there are everywhere, but they are far outnumbered and pretty powerless.

thanks again! i won't feel too bad about moving, i figured both cities may be similar in most aspects (except the tourist thing but believe it or not, there is a hugely populated "real" Orlando and it has and is becoming a pretty cool place and I know Charlotte is going through the same thing, job growth, the transplant thing etc. We are a becoming a large city that is a cross between Miami and Atlanta and I know Charlotte has a lot of Atlanta characteristics. I think of Atlanta as a huge island in the South and Charlotte becoming the same. The South stops in Florida at about Ocala and below that line we are a very huge island with Miami metro, Orlampa (we call it, the stretch of city between St. Pete and Daytona Beach. the entire length of Interstate 4 and then the wealthy growing cities on both coasts. Jacksonville is another story altogether, I'm sure Charlotte is nowhere near as old South as Jacksonville! Thanks again!