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skirby

A Look at 2009

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Things to look forward to this year:

Completion of River Market Tower and the Butler Center . Construction starts on the Aloft Hotel in LR and hotel project in NLR.

Things that could happen:

Due to problems around 'The Little Rock" cause by the removal of dirt the Junction Bridge will collapse into the Arkansas River causing a wave that sinks NLR's submarine.

Bill Clinton is appointed to replace his wife as senator for New York and the result is the Clinton Library will be relocated to New York.

Homeless people start living in the vacant buildings on Main Street causing a fire that wipes out all buildings between 3rd and 9th. Stephens extends his parking lot from Main and Markham south to include the burnt out area.

Tired of waiting for the city to do anything about War Memorial Park the animals from the zoo escape and take over the golf course and claim it as their natural habitat.

Because only 9 students enroll for the new school year next fall the State Board of Education closes the LR School District. It is forced to consolidate with Cabot and all Cabot students are made to go to Little Rock to attend school.

Major wildfires sweep west LR causing the city to ban any rebuilding or further development west of I-430.

Will these things happen? What do you see for the new year?

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Metropolitan National and Regions both sellout to Bank of America resulting in 3 Bank of America Towers downtown. As such the former Regions building becomes BOA - North and the former MNB building becomes BOA - South. Later, a civil war erupts between the two.

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After using all the space available to it, and losing its bid to acquire Ray Winder Field, UAMS announces plans to build a new tower on top of the existing Jack Stephens tower. This new structure, when complete, will surpass the Met Bank Building as the tallest building in Arkansas

Members of the American Taekwondo Association are called upon by city father to suppress a growing street gang problem in South LR. The ensuing showdown will be filmed and released as a sequel to "Big Trouble in Little China," titled (appropriately enough) "Big Trouble in Little Rock." Kurt Russell will be cast to reprise his role. Billy Bob Thornton is set to direct.

Apple, Inc. will finally build a store in Little Rock. The design will be so similar to the Clinton Library, tourists will get confused about which one is which.

Construction will begin on high-speed rail service between Little Rock & Memphis. Unfortunately, an earthquake along the New Madrid fault will shift the earth so badly that the track's terminus becomes Tyronza, AR. Being as how only a certain amount of money was appropriated for the project, the track's path will not be corrected. Tyronza becomes the 3rd largest city in Arkansas by 2016.

WLR will finally break away and become its own municipality, renaming itself "Pleasantville." A credit check and copy of most recent bank statement will be required for submission prior to new residents relocating there.

Finally, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette will acquire the Arkansas Times, leading to the formation of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette-Times, making it the longest newspaper name west of the Mississippi. Max Brantley will later found the Arkansas Journal-Constitution-Times-Picayune-Herald-Courrier-Leader-Citizen-Press out of spite :)

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After using all the space available to it, and losing its bid to acquire Ray Winder Field, UAMS announces plans to build a new tower on top of the existing Jack Stephens tower. This new structure, when complete, will surpass the Met Bank Building as the tallest building in Arkansas

Members of the American Taekwondo Association are called upon by city father to suppress a growing street gang problem in South LR. The ensuing showdown will be filmed and released as a sequel to "Big Trouble in Little China," titled (appropriately enough) "Big Trouble in Little Rock." Kurt Russell will be cast to reprise his role. Billy Bob Thornton is set to direct.

Apple, Inc. will finally build a store in Little Rock. The design will be so similar to the Clinton Library, tourists will get confused about which one is which.

Construction will begin on high-speed rail service between Little Rock & Memphis. Unfortunately, an earthquake along the New Madrid fault will shift the earth so badly that the track's terminus becomes Tyronza, AR. Being as how only a certain amount of money was appropriated for the project, the track's path will not be corrected. Tyronza becomes the 3rd largest city in Arkansas by 2016.

WLR will finally break away and become its own municipality, renaming itself "Pleasantville." A credit check and copy of most recent bank statement will be required for submission prior to new residents relocating there.

Finally, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette will acquire the Arkansas Times, leading to the formation of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette-Times, making it the longest newspaper name west of the Mississippi. Max Brantley will later found the Arkansas Journal-Constitution-Times-Picayune-Herald-Courrier-Leader-Citizen-Press out of spite :)

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